Achmed

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About Achmed

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  1. The Infidel Dromedary Dentist and Camel Proctologist is correct. And the Infidel Old Fart should be very worried. I am closing in on Colorado. I guarantee you will have an explosive time! Proctologist Stans: "Did you see the game last night?" Old Fart: "No, did we beat them?" Proctologist Stans: "We didn't just beat em, we rectum!" Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  2. Achmed is everywhere! I keep you Infidels guessing on my whereabouts. You do not know where and when I will strike! Perhaps Area 51? Or Las Vegas? You won't know until after it happens! Herr Fick. Dummkopf! Keep your scab encrusted hands off our explosive devices! Just who are you really working for? I question your devotion to The Emperor! Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  3. The suicide attack is coming soon Infidels! You Americans are closing 20 of your Embassies and consulates this weekend in fear! And issued a worldwide travel alert too. Proves how much you Infidels fear the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  4. Hello Infidels. My son, Achmed Junior, took the above photo of me having just infiltrated the Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan. The moron Americans haven't even noticed me or my son. Soon I will blow them all up in a successful suicide bombing! Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  5. The Infidel Donnie is a man whore. Kill him in your next stories old one.
  6. Since we of the NWO are achieving victory after victory, taking over in Syria, will soon regain the upper hand in Egypt, and the actions in Iraq will soon have them under our umbrella again, I have decided to retire. I am going to make one more successful suicide attack (No..No! I cannot tell you where and when Infidels!), then proceed to Allah's castle in the heavens, and my continued duty to him! And of course, a stop off in paradise first to sew the seeds of Achmed to my beautiful 72 female virgins! Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  7. Fick, the Emperor's Physicians sent you plenty of Vitamins, Viagra and Anesthetic chafing lube. So quit your complaining and get back on it! Or should I say them! Or sheep style, which ever you prefer. I see that King Obama and our most beautiful Queen Michelle and their lovely young girls are going to visit Martha's Vineyard in August for eight relaxing days. He has been so busy he needs the rest. So get to work Infidels! The King needs your tax money to by refrigerator magnets for the White House! At $10,000.00 a piece they will look wonderful in the White House staff kitchen. Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  8. And I will toss some of you Infidels onto the fire! Why let a good Infidel burning fire go to waste? Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  9. Everything couldn't be better in Egypt! Our powerful members of the Muslim Brotherhood are using the media to put the blame on Morsi's removal by the Military on the Egyptian Christians. Numerous attacks by said Christians against innocent Muslim women and children are being conducted, and our brothers are killing those Christian attackers two-fold! Fick has not been in communication with me for a number of days. Perhaps he has broken into the Christians Sacramental Wine stash and is passed out drunk somewhere with some scantily clad Christian female, or worse, Priest! King Obama has secretly sent 20,000 American Marines into Jordan. They, among American Naval and Air Force fighter jets, will soon join up with hundreds of Al Queda Freedom Fighters from Afghanistan and Pakistan who have made the journey to Syria to help the Syrian Freedom Fighters there. He is also sending tons of the latest American military equipment to the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt and in Syria. American air power will support our Freedom Fighters on the ground and destroy all of Assad's aircraft and helicopter gunships. The Syrian military will then crumble, and Assad will soon be dead. Only Israel will be left to be destroyed. And we can then destroy the Kurds in Northern Iraq and in Turkey. This will achieve complete domination for our Muslim countries and the NWO! Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  10. The Emperor is happy that you are all busy working, and not goofing off and squealing like a bunch of sows about the weather for a change. Works Makes Freedom! You will enjoy the NWO way of Freedom soon! Now be good little Infidels and work harder! Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  11. At least my diaper as you call it is full of brains, as it rests on my head. The one you wear and sit on is full of pee and crap. Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  12. Laugh all you want to now Infidels. But you know the truth is that you have already lost the war. Your freedoms are gone. We are watching your every move, your web accounts, your wireless devices and your computer hard drives. You are slaves to the New and Improved New World Order®! We are starting to control what you eat, where you live, what medical care you can get, and when your life will end. So laugh it up Infidels. The joke is really on you. Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  13. All Fick has to do is show up in Cairo and the place will become more unstable. I will have him round up all the sheep and goats of the Egyptian Christians and have sex with them. The animals, not the Christians. They would enjoy that to much, then confess their sins to their priest, then start all over again. The Christians will be so alarmed at not being able to find their sheep, they will forget about the rebellion. The Muslim Brotherhood will take over. King Obama is sending us more F-16's to crush the Infidel rebellion. I have ordered many of our Freedom Fighters to encampments along the Suez Canal from the Mediterranean Sea to the Red Sea. We have placed ant-ship missiles, and Surface to Air missiles along this corridor. Most of the Egyptian Air Force side with us, and the pilots promise not to attack our missile sites or encampments. They will shoot down any aircraft from Israel or US Navy aircraft coming in from the Med. Oil prices will continue to climb, $3-$6 a barrel by Sunday. I am not failing you oh great Emperor! I am succeeding! The old man Rommel and his Russian sniper are no where to be found. The Infidel American CSIM Marines have fled in fright! Libya, Egypt, and soon Syria will be ours. Jordan will fall quickly afterwards. The Turkish Muslim Brotherhood is gathering strength day by day. The Chechen Rebels have attacks in place for the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Dozens of countries will not show up because of the threat of death. The world will soon by yours my master! Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  14. LATEST REPORT FROM CAIRO, EGYPT Your Greatness, and beloved Emperor, Fick would turn to the other side just for a Klondike® Bar. I do not have the latest report as of yet, but I believe that Dark Helmet and Itchie Crotchie may be dead. At least that is the scuttlebutt. Do not hire the Infidels in the photos posted by the Infidel Donnie, whom I also thought was dead. I believe we have a traitor in our midst. He is giving out falsified information, and also revealing our secret locations. I think it is someone other than Fick, just because he is so stupid, he could not remember what intel to give to the enemy. The protests are not going well in Cairo! Our Muslim Brotherhood followers are being murdered in the streets by the Egyptian Military. I believe it is time to bring in the Freedom Fighters from Libya, and airlift Hezbollah and Iranian troops to put down the Egyptian Army and put the Muslim Brotherhood back in power. King Obama agrees with me. Safety and Financial tip: Do not fly on Asiana Airlines. And sell all Asiana Airlines stock you may have. It's dropping faster than the Hindenburg did. Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!
  15. Nice day for protests in Cairo, Egypt today. 88F and low humidity. Hail Emperor! Hail to the New and Improved New World Order®! Hail King Obama!