Itchie Crotchie

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About Itchie Crotchie

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  1. Helr Frick! Evelyone know youie doubre agent fol Lussians! Evel since Lussians captule you on Easteln Flont, and usie you as Comfolt gilr! Youie becomie infolmant/spy fol NKVD. Youie arso wolkie fol Empelol Laisinface. Now you sarute and suckie up to Tlump! Youie changie sides rike Itarians! No mattel. Tlumpie no savie you. Laisinface wirl kirl you most soonry! Itchie no akcept seatie on Laisinface tabre of powel. Itchie fal to supeliol man flom Nippon to needie rousy position. BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!
  2. Noie wollies fol Empellol! At reast untir most Honolabre Japanese lise up and destloy him! Then Japan wirl be the urtimate powel on ealth!!! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!
  3. You Amelican lat bastalds have speciar day fol erections? Japanese men get erections evelyday! Noie wondel U.S. Malines clazy! Nevel get raid! Meanwhire, Itchie spend houls evely day at Geisha on Ginza, selvicing rovery young Geisha gilrs! What learry funny is you Ami lat bastalds spend birrions to get erection fol just one day! Tomollow you go backie to have no erections, have rimp weenies. Itchie heal that you arso roose youl countly to Empelor Pluneface and Dalk Hermet today! Hirraly Crinton new Plesident fol you! Hirraly is Balack Obamra in whiteface withie wideroad butt! You Amelicans roose face! No rongel powelful nation! Canada kickie youl alse now! Hockry prayels toughies! Youl men nowie need safie zonies! To scaled to fight! BWAAAAHAAAHAAAAAA!!!! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!
  4. Donstel-san getting raid? ROR!!! Helr Frick malrying Blidgette? LOTFRMAO!!!!! Ord Guy-san make Itchie raf! Jus rike Bob Hope-san! Ord Guy-san terl tlue stoly aboutie Stans-san and he beling hung rike hamstel! RMAO!!!!
  5. Rold Dalk Hermet go fol big raugh! No get! ROR!!! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!
  6. Brah brah brah! Donstel-san dlop flew kiros. Doctol Katzenyammel diet rousy. Donstel-san need Supeliol Japanese Miritary diet! Law fish, maggots and lice, bean kurd and sart watel! Ruse weight mole goodry! You askie sulviving Amelican Maline POWs! We tleat them nicery! Ahhh scaledly cat arries now onry fry ovel Criffs of Dovel! Fry against dlunk Gelman pirots! Youie can handre frying against Supeliol Japanese Warriols of sky! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!!!
  7. Aaahhh soooo! Crint Easswood! Hele movrie of Itchie savring Crint Easswood! Itchie back you lat bastalds! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!
  8. I learry hate to aglee with Lat Bastald Ord Falt, but Itchie need to know if I need to get celemonial crothes creaned and plessed fol Hali-Kili ol not! Gettie on with it Achmed! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  9. How youie Yankee lat bastalds say...Bite me Dlomedaly Dentist! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  10. Noooooo! Achmed yoie no reavie NWO! If yoie reave, then I commit Hali-Kali! No want to havie to wolk arone with Fick-san and Dalk Hermet-san! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  11. Lead youl histoly books Dlomedaly Dentist-san! This was divelsion flom lear attack at Midway Irand! We sendie clap tloops to Areutians. Mostry ord guys, men with badry cases of diffelent Venelear Diseases, and climinars. BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  12. Itchie begins to prepare the Shuttle for the flight to Spaceball One. He orders one of the NWO flight chiefs to begin fueling the Shuttle. "Deep apologies Effendi...but we have a shortage of dilithium crystals. The delivery is late" the flight chief reports. "Clap! We must be leady to reave in ten minutes! His Excellency is on his way now!" Itchie begins to panic. "Do we not have artelnative fuer...fule...stuff to use instead of the dirithium clystars?" "Yes...yes we do Effendi. "We can use a mixture of Sheep and Goat feces. However, it is contaminated." All of it within a radius of 1000 square kilometers has been tainted" the Chief answers. "Contlaminated? What the herl has contlaminated it?" Itchie asks while he looks around for the Emperor to arrive. "It seems the Iranian troops and some of our brutal but well meaning Freedom Fighters, and their recent rampage of sheep and goat rape, well, their semen has fouled the animals poop. So it will not work in the Spaceball One Shuttle, manufactured by Mercedes-Benz. It would have worked if you had a shuttle made by Renault in France." "CLAP! Why this arways happen to Itchie?" BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  13. UZA? Whoie da herl UZA? Shutie upie and gettie to wolkie doubre time! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  14. "BANZAI!!! DO YOUIE NOT KNOWIE WHAT BANZAI MEAN?" Itchie screams at the NWO Freedom Fighters™. Geof Gunghim and Achmed, standing next to Itchie look at each other and shrug their shoulders. "Uh...Mr. Itchie," Geof Gunghim says as he turns to speak to the half crazed, foaming at the mouth Japanese soldier. "It behooves me to say that no, they do not understand the meaning of the Japanese word "Banzai". Banzai is a traditional Japanese exclamation meaning "ten thousand years". The Allied forces used the term "Banzai Charge" to refer to Japanese human wave attacks mounted by infantry units. This term came from the Japanese cry "Tenno Heika Banzai", ("Long live the Emperor"), shortened to banzai, and it specifically refers to a tactic used by Japanese soldiers during the Pacific War. Banzai charge had made some successes at the end of the battle by assaulting the American soldiers that were unprepared for such types of attack. The banzai charge can be considered one of the least efficient strategies used in the Pacific War in terms of Japanese-to-American casualty ratios. So you see Mr. Crotchie, that these wonderful, young and enthusiastic Fighters for Freedom, have never even heard or seen a Japanese word, unless it is printed on one of their pickup trucks, or hand held music device." "So you should yell the word "Qatal" when you want them to attack. This means to kill, put to death, to wage war/combat/battle." "Ahhh Soooo! Itchie crealy undelstand nowie" Itchie replies. Itchie turns to the Freedom Fighters yet again, this time screaming "QATAL! QATAL!! QATAL!!!" Unfortunately, the men, not having any enemies directly in their view, start killing each other instead. "Hory schit! Thatie no wolkie velly goodry Mistel Gunghim! Empelol not going to be preased with Itchie!" BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!