Itchie Crotchie

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About Itchie Crotchie

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    Lt. Colonel

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  1. Donstel-san getting raid? ROR!!! Helr Frick malrying Blidgette? LOTFRMAO!!!!! Ord Guy-san make Itchie raf! Jus rike Bob Hope-san! Ord Guy-san terl tlue stoly aboutie Stans-san and he beling hung rike hamstel! RMAO!!!!
  2. Rold Dalk Hermet go fol big raugh! No get! ROR!!! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!
  3. Brah brah brah! Donstel-san dlop flew kiros. Doctol Katzenyammel diet rousy. Donstel-san need Supeliol Japanese Miritary diet! Law fish, maggots and lice, bean kurd and sart watel! Ruse weight mole goodry! You askie sulviving Amelican Maline POWs! We tleat them nicery! Ahhh sooo...you scaledly cat arries now onry fry ovel Criffs of Dovel! Fry against dlunk Gelman pirots! Youie can handre frying against Supeliol Japanese Warriols of sky! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!!!
  4. Aaahhh soooo! Crint Easswood! Hele movrie of Itchie savring Crint Easswood! http://youtu.be/0v5Rek_e2CQ Itchie back you lat bastalds! BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!
  5. I learry hate to aglee with Lat Bastald Ord Falt, but Itchie need to know if I need to get celemonial crothes creaned and plessed fol Hali-Kili ol not! Gettie on with it Achmed! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  6. How youie Yankee lat bastalds say...Bite me Dlomedaly Dentist! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  7. Noooooo! Achmed yoie no reavie NWO! If yoie reave, then I commit Hali-Kali! No want to havie to wolk arone with Fick-san and Dalk Hermet-san! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  8. Lead youl histoly books Dlomedaly Dentist-san! This was divelsion flom lear attack at Midway Irand! We sendie clap tloops to Areutians. Mostry ord guys, men with badry cases of diffelent Venelear Diseases, and climinars. BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  9. Itchie begins to prepare the Shuttle for the flight to Spaceball One. He orders one of the NWO flight chiefs to begin fueling the Shuttle. "Deep apologies Effendi...but we have a shortage of dilithium crystals. The delivery is late" the flight chief reports. "Clap! We must be leady to reave in ten minutes! His Excellency is on his way now!" Itchie begins to panic. "Do we not have artelnative fuer...fule...stuff to use instead of the dirithium clystars?" "Yes...yes we do Effendi. "We can use a mixture of Sheep and Goat feces. However, it is contaminated." All of it within a radius of 1000 square kilometers has been tainted" the Chief answers. "Contlaminated? What the herl has contlaminated it?" Itchie asks while he looks around for the Emperor to arrive. "It seems the Iranian troops and some of our brutal but well meaning Freedom Fighters, and their recent rampage of sheep and goat rape, well, their semen has fouled the animals poop. So it will not work in the Spaceball One Shuttle, manufactured by Mercedes-Benz. It would have worked if you had a shuttle made by Renault in France." "CLAP! Why this arways happen to Itchie?" BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  10. UZA? Whoie da herl UZA? Shutie upie and gettie to wolkie doubre time! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  11. "BANZAI!!! DO YOUIE NOT KNOWIE WHAT BANZAI MEAN?" Itchie screams at the NWO Freedom Fighters™. Geof Gunghim and Achmed, standing next to Itchie look at each other and shrug their shoulders. "Uh...Mr. Itchie," Geof Gunghim says as he turns to speak to the half crazed, foaming at the mouth Japanese soldier. "It behooves me to say that no, they do not understand the meaning of the Japanese word "Banzai". Banzai is a traditional Japanese exclamation meaning "ten thousand years". The Allied forces used the term "Banzai Charge" to refer to Japanese human wave attacks mounted by infantry units. This term came from the Japanese cry "Tenno Heika Banzai", ("Long live the Emperor"), shortened to banzai, and it specifically refers to a tactic used by Japanese soldiers during the Pacific War. Banzai charge had made some successes at the end of the battle by assaulting the American soldiers that were unprepared for such types of attack. The banzai charge can be considered one of the least efficient strategies used in the Pacific War in terms of Japanese-to-American casualty ratios. So you see Mr. Crotchie, that these wonderful, young and enthusiastic Fighters for Freedom, have never even heard or seen a Japanese word, unless it is printed on one of their pickup trucks, or hand held music device." "So you should yell the word "Qatal" when you want them to attack. This means to kill, put to death, to wage war/combat/battle." "Ahhh Soooo! Itchie crealy undelstand nowie" Itchie replies. Itchie turns to the Freedom Fighters yet again, this time screaming "QATAL! QATAL!! QATAL!!!" Unfortunately, the men, not having any enemies directly in their view, start killing each other instead. "Hory schit! Thatie no wolkie velly goodry Mistel Gunghim! Empelol not going to be preased with Itchie!" BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  12. Shutie youl appre pie hores Amelican molons and gettie to wolkie! King and Queen Obama on tlip to mothelrand...el...Itchie mean Aflika. Need $100 mirrion dorrals to buy leflidgelatol magnets! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  13. Somewhere at a secret location in Tripoli... "You have failed me again Crotchie!" the dark menacing robed Emperor yells, looking down at the half toasted Japanese pilot. "So solly my Empelol!" Itchie crinches in fear. "Helmet and Fick are dead. You will soon be. No one who works for me can be trusted!" The Emperor slams his fist on the arm of his comfy chair. "That old fart Rommel and his CSImmers are closing in on us. Time we relocate. Have Geof Gunghim and Achmed ready the submarine. DO NOT FAIL ME AGAIN!!! 'I derivel youl message light away!" Itchie slowly stands, his legs shaking. "We will relocate to Beirut, Lebanon. From their, we can control the civil war in Syria. Our ally President Ahmadinejad has sent 4000 Iranian Revolutionary Guard to Syria to defend President Bashar Assad's regime. This is just a ruse. His troops will join our Freedom Fighters, along with the new weapons supplied by King Obama. Assad will use more chemical weapons. We shall use one of Ahmadinejad's new long-range missile launchers to fire a Syrian missile loaded with Tabun into Israel. Assad will be blamed for the attack. We then will take out Assad and Syria will belong to us. Israel will be on the brink of disaster. Hamas and Hezbollah will attack while Israel is reeling from the chemical attack. Soon, the entire Middle-East will be MINE!!!" BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!
  14. Herro Lat Bastalds! Goodry to see you not hele and busy wolking! King Obama need anothel horiday! Haaahaaaahaaaaahaaaaaaaa! Stuplid Amelicans even vote fol him twice! Vely goodry fol NWO! Not so goodry fol you!!! BANZAI! BANZAI!! BANZAI!!! Hair to the Empelol! Hair to the New and Imploved New Wolrd Oldel®! Hair King Obama! Ahhhhhh Soooooooooo!!!