Whizkid
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Posts posted by Whizkid
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Yup,have to have a College Degree to think up something like that! Marketing,my man,Marketing!
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Gentlemen,now you have had time to play and evaluate SH3 more fully,what are your considered opinions? Is it worth going out and buying a DVD-ROM unit just for it,is the game that interesting and well-done to spend the money for,etc,etc. I've held off until now as the dollars are hard-earned and nobody is giving it away!
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CFran,see if you can dig up the Compatability screen in XP. If so,you should be able to make the program compatible with Win 98 or 2000 and it'll work. Hopefully.
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Oh,boy,do I really want to get into this? Anybody recognize the word "LIBERAL?" Yes,folks,with the hindsight of advanced years I can categorically state that it is a word that sets my pants on fire! The values that our forefathers espoused as being foremost in their lives have been dragged through the mud and spat upon by the likes of that SOB who vilified the Military for saving his sorry a**se,and applauded by liberal politicians who have never heard the word "selfless" in their lives! And Hilary wants to run for President? Gimme a break! RANT OVER,Douggie!
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Hey,Boss,do you feel a draft around your legs,or something?
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Thanks,Skipper,it looks awfully complex!
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Well,I managed to get the Trial version to run OK,but can't figure out how to play the game. Is there a Read Me or Online Manual to give me some guidance or what? I'm not a natural D&D type so need some help here. HELP!!!
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Shep,that was the finest tribute to a Father that I have ever read. The ones from the heart are always the best,aren't they? My Dad was 96 when he left us,and I left England when I was 24,so I only saw him occasionally after that,but now,of course,I want to thank him for so many things. I guess my reward is to hear my daughters tell me how they are realizing so many of the things we tried to teach them are really true,and how they are "becoming their parents!" Payback time! I just thank God that I had parents that left me with a sense of integrity and decency and honor. I can hope my kids can say the same.May God bless you all this Fathers Day,whether you are or not.
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Great photo,Donnie! Somehow that's how I've always visualized you! Thanks for all your work for the Forum,my friend. Wouldn't be the same without you.
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Need help,guys. I d\l'd the demo from the site,and all looked OK until I tried to exit the Attributes screen. The "DONE" button won't light up and let me exit. Why? All the others go green when I left click,but not this one. Also the cursor has a tiny "d3d" attached,but there is no way to change the video specs. Hmmm! Any ideas?
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Walking into the unknown with your eyes wide open--------that's what I call "BRAVERY!"
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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,159812,00.html
There's nothing wrong with California! It just breeds bigger and better pedophiles!
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Where to start?I wish now I hadn't seen that sad,ignorant,confused boy,being given air time to even say one word of his twisted,juvenile argument. He looks as though he's still coming down from his latest hit of whatever he's using! What a sad travesty of the Freedom to speak ones mind.
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Redneck IQ Test
I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South. I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(
'69 Chevrolet Chevelle© '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many long-neck Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. In Arkansas, a man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during this shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the interstate highway to breed a country and western singer?
'Betcha thought that test was gonna' be an easy one, didn't you? It's okay if you didn't do all that well. Just shows to go you . . . there's a hole heap of things that big city book learning don't prepare you for in this life.
Here's a Southerly tip that may help next time you're too drunk to drive -- walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with 'em.
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HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will NOT make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a lot of naps and spend a lot of time in a recliner.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: What does a cow eat? (Hay and corn) And what are these? (Vegetables) So a steak is nothing more than condensed vegetables that we call "meat". So, if you need grain . . . eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of green leafy vegetables. And . . . a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetables. Isn't that simple?
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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from . . . fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one-to-one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two-to-one, etc.
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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Are you kidding? What advantages? Regular exercise is just asking for trouble. Don't believe all the hype about exercise. Who gives you those so-called facts, anyway? Here's who: Manufacturers of exercise machines, also gyms and spas that want to sell you memberships, and doctors--who want you to have physical problems so they can get medical fees. Think of the exercise questions like this: "No pain . . . No sweat . . . No exercise . . . that's good!"
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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: When newspapers and TV tell you fried foods are bad for you, that's just marketing lies they publish because they want you to get sick so you'll just stay home and watch more TV and read more newspapers. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. Vegetable oils are made of the life-blood of vegetables. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Think of it this way: getting vegetable oil in your body is like putting oil in your car. Can you imagine what damage would be done to your car if it didn't have lots of oil?
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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a big stomach.
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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Bad? Of course not! Chocolate if wonderful for you--and, the more the better. Why? Because chocalate comes from cocoa beans -- which is, just another vegetable! Chocolate may be the best and most complete food you can put in your body. Think of it this way: The Hershey company and Nestle company are health food companies and they are our friends.
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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, please explain whales and rhinos to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
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Well, that's the end of our health class. Hopefully, this information has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Please pass this along to your friends -- especially those who may be torturing themselves with exercise programs and diets. Let them know that they have been brain-washed and they need to stop suffering. Read next month's column on: "The Healthiest foods of all: Fast Foods, Ice Cream, Chocolate and Animal and Dairy products." Don't miss it. It can add years to your life and it's lots more fun.
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Bungee-jumping
Alice and Frank went Bungee-jumping one day.
Alice says to Frank, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own Bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
Frank thinks this is a great idea. So they pool their money and buy everything they'll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on a square in a small town.
As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble.
Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration.
So, Alice jumps.
She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes back up, Frank notices that she has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Frank isn't able to catch her and she falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, she is bruised and bleeding. Again, Frank misses her.
Alice falls again and bounces back up. This time she comes back pretty messed up -she's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
Luckily, Frank finally catches her this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine...It was the crowd. What the hell is a pinata?
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And only Donnies!
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Country Preacher
The old country preacher had a teenage son, and he thought it was time his boy began to think about what kind of career he was going to have. So, the preacher had an idea.
One day, while the boy was at school, the preacher decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on 3 objects on his son's desk: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey.
His idea was that he would hide himself behind the door in his son's room so that when his son came home from school, he could observe which of the 3 items his son picked up. The preacher reasoned that, If his son picked up the Bible. . . he was going to be a preacher. If he picked up the dollar, he would be a business man. And, if he picked up the whiskey bottle he would be a no-good drunk.
Finally, his son came home and the preacher hid behind the door to watch his son. His son entered the room, threw his books on the bed, and was about to leave the room when he saw the 3 items: the Bible . . . the silver dollar . . . and the whiskey bottle.
The boy looked at all three for a moment then made his decision: He picked up the Bible and tucked it under his arm . . . he picked up the silver dollar and put it in his pocket . . . and he picked up the whiskey bottle and took a real big swig.
Over behind the door, the preacher thought to himself, "Dear Lord . . .my boy's going to be a politician!"
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(Courtesy smile!)
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I knew it! SH!T,somebody had to ruin my great story!
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Subject: Golf Story
An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he finds a wee Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his Scotch from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.
"Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked. "Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?" "Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm just glad you're okay, and I apologize. I really didn't mean to hit you." And the golfer walks off.
"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself. "But it was fair and square that he got me, and I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want -- a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."
A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the American golfer is back on the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.
'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"
"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. "In fact, that's the first bad ball I've hit in a year! I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right." "Oh, I'm fine now, thankee. I did that fer yer golf game, ya know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?"
"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states. "I win fortunes in golf. If I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!"
"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?" The golfer blushes, turns his head away embarrassed, and says shyly, "It's OK."
"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did good job. How many times a day? " Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week."
"What?!?!" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?"
"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish"
'69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(Courtesy smile!)
Tomcat Pics
in Ready Room
Posted
That's you in the last pic,right?