Herr Soren Fick
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Posts posted by Herr Soren Fick
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Blah, blah, blah, vheazer, blah, blah, blah. Zhat iz all zhe two of you schpeak of. You schould do zomezhing und get ein life like me! I am gvreatly entjoyink zhe lifeztyle avforded to me by all of you zucker Ami taxpayerz. I get healzhkare, food und gute houzink und you pay for it. But I hav been vantink more zo I have found ein gvreat opportunity. I vas vizitink zhe lokal kar vash und zhe owner offerdt me ein gute job. I schtart az ein manadjer of zhe polishink divizion. JA! He gave me zhe pozition of head light polischer. I do not know how many people I vill be kommandink... errr... I mean zupervizink, but he did zay zhat he vill pay me mit kash zo it vill not impakt all zhe free schtuff you Amis give me.
Bwahahaha! Iz zhis ein gvreat plaze or vhat! Zuckers!
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Vhere iz zhis Babe Bunker? I have looked und looked und can nicht find it! I am zure zhat Fifi und her friend Bridgitte are probable zhere.
Az for zhis Vrotatiga, he iz full of scheiss! Zhis iz juzt zhe drivel peddledt by zhe Emperor und his new vorld order. Tvruzt me I know zhis krap vhen I zee it.
Now, vizh zhat out of zhe vay, vhere iz zhat Babe Bunker?
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Indeed! A couple of classics plus a newer tune from germany,
Here's some scousers....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDsMpOM4uAU
JA! I am ein vrok gott!
All of you kan 
to me! -
Zo mein firzt attempt at poztink in zhis zilly zhread did not meet dein ekzpektazions? I try again ja?
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Alvayz vizh zhe vheazer talk. it never failz. Zhe tvo of you schould get livez ja?
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Vhat ein deprezzink bit of musik. It iz zhe veekende ja? Let uz hav fun und entjoy!
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ACH! Vrun! Vrun avay now vhile you kan! Zhis meanz zhe Emperor vill zoon vreturn und I do not zhink einy of us vants to be avround for zhat!
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ALARM! Helmut! Hanz! Man zhe ack-ack gunz, zhe Tommiez are at it again!
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You vreally vant Herr Stainz to be zhe pilot? I heard zhat vhile he vas flyink mit zhe Ami group VMF214 zhat he flew into zhe group kommandant not vonze but tvize! You are ein vreal dumkopf for hirink him az ein pilot. Ich... ACH! I vould kould be ein bezzer pilot!
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Ztand down Herr Stainz! Ich...ACH! I have mein oldt Kar98K loaded und vready. I vill gladly volunteer to put him out of our mizery und konzider it paybak for zhat gaz kollekzion fiazco. Hold schtill und... Nein! It doez not mazzer az I am ein gute markzman und zhis vill hurt. Ein lot!
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Dumkopf! Vas ein schtupidt zhing to do! Zhat iz zhe vork for zhe hausfrau. Und Herr Stainz zhe zame goez for you und dein schtupidt ideaz. Zhis iz vhy you kan no lonker vin vars!
I hope zhat Herr Dumzter haz learnedt hiz lezzon und vill not do zutch zhings again. Und if you hav to go bak to zhe doktor make zure it iz not Doktor Hurtzembadd. He iz mutch vorze zhan Doktor Katzenjammer avter ein zhree day brady dvrinkink bindje!
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Ja! I hav ein kweztion. Vas zhe hell are you schmokink?
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Herr Vhizinpantz pre-datez zhis vrelik. Ich hav it upon gute auzhority zhat he vas ein zeaman in zhe Egypzian navy. He zerved unter Tutankhamen!
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Schot down by ein flakpanzer of zhe tventy-firzt panzer divizion mozt likely. Zhey give zhe Tommy fliegers hell ja? Zhe Tommy livez to fly ein nozher day.
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Fifi? You have zeen Fifi? Vhere?
ACH! You are schpeakink of ein flugzeuge named after zhe famouz fraulein. I vas hopink zhe vreal Fifi und perhapz her friend Bridgitte had been zeen.
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I can prevent Cancer! Inhale deeply please!
More likely zhat you kan bring ein party to ein quick endink!
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Yes you are Man Ho Lick. You traded in your Nazi flag for this one...
Be glad I am no longer ein offizer in zhe New Vorld Order.
Vait ein minute. I zhink I may schtill have ein liztink for dein vife's phone number. JA! Zhings might get veddy unkomfortable for you veddy zoon.
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ACH! Vhat ein baztardizazion of ein gute dezign. BAH! If you vant ein zuperior Tjerman flugzeuge zhen buy ein new Messerschmidt 262 mit zhe Tjeneral Elektrik enginez ja?
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Bah! Ich.. ACH! I kept mein field kit und ein zupply of zhe vrazions known az Em Ar Eez. I am preparedt.
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ACH! Vas iz zhis scheiss? I am nicht zhe fun boy you zeem to akuze me az beink.
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Still on vacation, taking relatives from Virginia into the big city today. Should be a beautiful day in Boston. give them the 10 cent tour, showing all the places I spent my formative years!
Zo you are takink zhem to zee zhe vreform school?
Bwahahaha! I made gute tjoke ja?
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Iz zhis all you do avround here? Talk about zhe veazher! Vhat happendt to zhe party und muzik zhat used to be here? Zome of uz vhant to have fun ja?
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I zhink you schould eat more kabbadje. It iz vedy gute for zhe digeztive trakt. It iz vone of zhe zhings zhat helpz ve Tjermanz to be zuperior!
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Ich... ACH! i hav ein emergenzy plan laid out. I alvays keep zeveral bottle of schnapps und brandy kloze by. In kaze of ein dizazter I begin drinkink until I am kompletely blitzedt. It vill not make zhe dizazter better nor vill it zave mein life, but at leazt I vill feel no pain ja?
All of you kan 
to me!
Hump Day
in Ready Room
Posted
Schpeakink of vork I kvuit mein tjob at zhe kar vash!
Zhat krazy Pawkeeztanee zhat runz it told me I vould be zhe head light polischer. Vhat he meant vas I vould be ein headlight polischer. I vould be zhe only headlight polischer und zhe plaze iz open 24 hourz ein day und he ekzpektedt me to be zhere 24 hourz ein day! He zaid zhe tjob paid vone hundredt ein hour kash. Vhat he failed to menzion vas he paid in Pawkeeztanee Rupees zo it vas only vone Ami dollar per hour. I muzt find ein bezzer vay to obtain hardt kurrenzy mitout lozink mein benefitz.