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Edwin Rommel

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Posts posted by Edwin Rommel

  4. Dropping the S-Bomb

    in Ready Room

    Posted

    “Hmmmmm--- do you schmell zhat?? “

    “Ja—vhot iz it?…”

    “Fresh Kamel meat! Do you schtill remember vhen vhe chased zhe Kamelz into zhe Tommie minefieldz to explode zhe minez before attackink zhe Tommiez?”

    “Ja— vhot fun it vhoz to zhee zhoze legz und humpz kartwheelink through zhe sky-vhe picked up zhome uf zhe chunkz uf flesh unt had a good old barbecue!”

    ‘Schall vhe?”

    “Let’z!”

    “Hmmmm--- vhy iz zhe sky zhuch ein schtrange brown kolor???”

    “Ich weiss nicht--- look – zhere iz ein pieze uf neck!!! Boy—zhzi iz goink to be ein change from shell fish und bananaz unt pineapplez--- Vhy iz it zho kweit??”

    “Ja – schtrange--- but let uz eat first unt vhorry about zhe rest later…”

  7. Dropping the S-Bomb

    in Ready Room

    Posted

    “Himmel Herr Rommell--- just lookenzhie vhot zhiz islander juzt brought me--- It iz in Japaneze, but zhey haf translated bitz uf it… Zhe title iz

    “Dealing mit zhe B36”

    Like all Japanese aircraft powered by piston engines, the B-36 is also prone to engine fires. The problem is made worse by the pusher configuration, which facilitates carburetor icing. The B-36 is not a particularly enjoyable aircraft to fly. Its overall performance, in terms of speed and manuverablity, is never considered good. Lieutenant General James Edmundson says it is like "...sitting on your front porch and flying your house around." This been the truth the Japanese pilot should always try to get in trough the windows or back door. Despite its immense exterior size, the pressurized crew compartments is relatively cramped for the oversize Americans, especially when occupied for 24 hours by a crew of 15 in full flight kit. Although the rear compartment includes six bunks, and the radio compartment behind the flight deck includes a couple of bunks, crewmen usually chose to sleep in their seats (Note—wait till crew is sleeping before attack).

    War missions will have be essentially one-way (Kamikaze?), taking off from forward bases in Alaska or Greenland, overflying the USSR, and landing in Europe or the Middle East. Ironically, crew veterans reveal that while crews are confident of their ability to complete a mission if called upon to do so, they are less confident of surviving the weapon delivery itself. Their concerns are a function of the relatively low speed of the aircraft coupled with the extreme destructive power of the S-bombs they are carrying, resulting in the plane still being in harm's way once the bombs detonates on target. This concerns are borne out by tests, in which B-36s flew near detonations in the 15-megaton range, at distances believed typical of wartime delivery, and experienced blast damage. Japanese pilots must allow B36 to drop bomb while remaining far away and then swoop in to shoot down damaged aircraft.

    If all engines functioned normally at full power during the pre-takeoff warm up, the lead flight engineer would say to the aircraft commander "six [engines] turning and four [engines] burning". Erratic engine reliability led to the wisecrack "two turning, two burning, two joking and two smoking," with two engines not accounted for or referred to as dead.

    A common joke is that some B-36 flight decks included a calendar; 40-hour missions were routine, 48-hour ones not unknown, and one mission lasted as long as 56 hours. Japanese pilot must wait until boredom makes B36 crew relax.”

    “Hmmmm so this undestructable aircraft has vheakpointz??--- maybe vhe should get zhiz informazion to Heinkill before he doez anyzhink stupid”

    On the horizon both men suddenly notices a rising column of smoke and flame moving towards the B36.

    “Err—Shultzie--- let uz get to zhe bunkerz—KWIEKLY!”

  12. Dropping the S-Bomb

    in Ready Room

    Posted

    “Zho Liebvort--- vhe have repaired zhe elevator, refueled dein aircraft und even fixed zhe detonator on zhe explozivez—you schould be all zhet--- vhe made ein schmall change…”

    “Ja??”

    “Vhe added zhum lazer gunz in zhe noze, unfortunately vhe did not have time to inschtall sightz, but zhey vhill schoot mostly forward--- unt…”

    “Ja?”

    “Vhe found zhat zhe mechanical problemz mit your kraft vhoz kauzed by a rat zhat had zhum little vhonz in zhe vhiring--- vhell vhe kollektez zhum uf zhe droppinkz und Gdfltz haz prepared zhum schpezial explosive frum it--- it iz more powerfull zhan anyzhink know zho far on earth--- it iz karanteed to blow you to teenzy vheenzy little bitz--- enjoy!”

    “WUNDERBAHR!”

    Helmut closes the canopy, the docking arm of the Homogeny fighter pulls back and in a fast over-arm swing throws the Okha back towards earth---

    In the stellar quietness a fading

    “WHOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

    can be heard

  13. Dropping the S-Bomb

    in Ready Room

    Posted

    "Ewwwww. Helmut, could you beam us to some place nice? I'm thinking that Miami is nice this time of the year."

    "But of kourze-- schtanden in a schmall group over zhere--- no not you Lievort--"

    "Gdfltz--- do zhe honourz pleaze..."

    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTT

    "Ooppp5 !!!!"

    "Vhot you mean Ooops Gdfltz??"

  17. Dropping the S-Bomb

    in Ready Room

    Posted

    “Ich bin Helmut und zhiz iz mein Girlfriend Gdfltz--- vhe haf brought you here to try to explain to you vhot iz happenink down zhere…. Und to konvinze you to try to zhort out zhe mezz—zhinze you are zhe only worthvhile Allied forzez in zhe area unt zhe only vhonz zhat kan zhort zhiz mess--- do you vhont to hear?”

    “OK—Shoot”

    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZttt----

    “NEIN Gdfltz--- it iz juzt ein exprezzion--- zhorry Fifi--- vhe vhill find you zhum buttonz…. OK—Here goez--- unt zhe only vhay I could follow zhe plot vhoz bekauze uf zhe Komputer on zhzi kraft vhorkink all zhe pozzibilitiez out… zho here goez…Ich vhill uze zhe translator to make mein Germlish easier to follow… click… teztiz--- err—testink…

    First—the pirates—if they can lay their hands on the S-bomb technology then the world as we know it is doomed. They know the plans are probably on Chi-Chi Jima and as soon as they have firm indications of where it is, they will attack in full force to secure the plans- they are desperate, since they have no road back to their countries after making the fateful choice to follow Joachim Schwalbe and Barbarossa. The Black Oyster is very well armed and the crew is desperate—a recipe for evil success.

    Rommel and his crew were aware that this whole thing had to do with the S-bomb plans but had no idea that they were directly involved, since the plan in Rommels pocket was just a piece of paper to him, and he discarded it along the way. Rommel knows it is important to stop the pirates, but does not understand the role of the B36 and the rat. He surmises that the Rat and his pal are up to no good and they are willing to test and explode their version of the S-bomb just for the hell of it, and to prove that they can write longer stories than that famous author Heinkill.

    The version of the bomb that the rat has in his aircraft was based on a plan he bought on E-bay and will not be the real mcoy—this they will probably find out when they try to explode the bomb. The only triggers that might remotely work to cause the S- chain reaction in absence of the real S-bomb plan are sitting in the freight compartment of the Ventura- also unknown to Rommel—they just stole it because it was there at the time they were stealing ammunition on Beito.

    The most dangerous man in the scenario is Heinkill- he knows what the S-bomb is all about, and he is desperately trying to delay you and your friends from finding the true plans and to take it to the Allied side. The Rat and his friend are loose cannons- they might also use the S-technology for their own purposes. Heinkill is a true patriot- the dangerous kind—he will stop at nothing to prevent you from obtaining the S-bomb plans. He is not beyond enlisting help from anywhere and everywhere to stop you.

    Liebvort is in the Okha diving towards the Yorktown- the Okha is modified and has an abnormally long range—if Liebvort gets an idea into that crazy mind of his, he can probably fly that thing for several 100’s of miles and in any direction.

    The camel, Ugo and others are minor players at that stage- but they are unpredictable and can send this whole plot in any direction…

    So you—Stans and friends—are the only persons that can save the world from a shitty end--- literally…

    Click…

    It iz klear ja?

    You vhill do zhiz?—

    If you feel you vhont to go home—press zhe green button--- if you think you can zhave zhe vhorld—prezz zhe red button--- if you juzt vhont to rest a vhile—Gdfltz vhill put zhe kettle on….”

  18. Dropping the S-Bomb

    in Ready Room

    Posted

    Eat your heart out Continuity Manager----

    "HEY BARACK!!-- VHE ARE HEADINK YOUR VHAY--- YOU ARE VHILKOMMEN TO KATCH A RIDE!-- JUZT LEAVE ALL HEAVY VHEAPONZ IN CHECKED LUGGAGE!"

    The Ventura waits, extra long range fuel tanks fitted, fuselage door open....

    Hope Liebvort makes it....

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