Edwin Rommel

Go on go on-- Don't tell him!

you vhill become a rabbit--- or vhoz zhat rabid???

CM-- maybe zhey zhuck zheir viktimz to death???? ooohhh-- vhat ein thought....

"We are close enough honkey-- do yho thing-- dat flak iz murderous and Ma Friday sez her boy is too young to die--- " "Robinson-- release that piece of Jap crap and let us be out of here" As the Okha drops out of the belly of the Ventura, Lievort is momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight-- far away on the horizon he can see the aircraft carrier already spewing fire into the air with it's long range AA guns... Above him the Ventura turns around and heads back towards Tiny Dongle Horrido !

“Himmel--- zho zhey vhont to attempt to re-azzemble zhe “S-bomb”??? Und ICH haf half zhe plan??? Himmel—zhiz kannot be--- do you know zhe amount uf deveztazion zhat zhing vhill kauze in zhe vronk handz--- unt zhe LAB RAT SCHWEIN vhontz it?- haz it?--- zhiz must never happen---- hmmmmm--- here iz zhe plan--- vhe must destroy zhe plan--- putten zhe half uf zhe plan back into Liebvort’z pocket unt get him into zhe Cherry Blossom--- he iz OK enough to fly?--- Guut--- zhen vhe launch him at zhe Yorktown, unt he vhill take zhe plan with him to vherever he iz goink--- no-vhon vhill ever find him or zhe plan ever again!” Liebvort is dragged to the Okha slung under the Ventura and after some maneuvering he is strapped into the seat. “Liebvort--- you are doink zhe vhorld ein great zhervize--- you vhill be remembered fondly--- go kill zhe Yorktown!!!!--- Zhere iz ein guut boy!- Here – haf mein Ritterkreuz mit tealeaves und shiny stonez---- Vhe haf modified zhe rocket enginez a bit to give you more range zho zhat vhe kan drop you further out--- Horrido” As the Ventura revs up and just before Liebvort closes the canopy, Rommel hears Liebvort saying---“unt you can slchleep zhafely at night here on Tiny Dongle knowink zhat Ich—Stefan Liebvort—did mein duty….” As the Ventura struggles into the air with the replacement crew on board, Rommel turns to Shultz… “Did he juzt zhay vhe are on Tiny Dongle???????--- and zhere iz annozzer thing--- Ich do not haf zhe ozzer half uf zhe S-Bomb plan in mein greatcoat pocket anymore---- but ich zhink ich remember vhere ich left it….”

Half an hour later… “Vhell—if anybody kould haf zhurvived, it had to be Liebvort--- how are you doink chum??” Heinz now sitting against a palm tree with Lievort cradled in his arms and is busy picking shards of coral out of the face of the still very incoherent human bomb… “Liebvort??? Stefan--- vhat can you tell uz about zhe S-bomb?” “Hehe—huh--- danke liebchen---- vhere iz Heinie--- zhe blutig schwein--- go find me a kamel he zhayz--- dick --- und zhat Gdfltz thing vhoz horrible--- urgh--- unt puttink zhat tentacle in mein ear—dizguztink--- unt Rommel--- ich zhaw Rommel in schpaze!!!” “Hmmmm--- Heinz—maybe you schould talk to him alone unt zhen komme tell uz vhen you haf anyzhink….”

“Vhot zhe…..” Shultz, Rommel and Heinz watch in amazement as a column of water and coral shards shoots skywards in the middle of the secluded lagoon where they just had an early morning swim. Liebvort Re-entry.... “Himmel—Shultz? Are vhe under attack???” “Nein—vhait--- look zhere” Amidst a column of bubbles something bursts to the surface---- “It iz a body--- quick--- Shultz—Heinie--- row zhat canoe in und zhee if you kan help…” The two men run towards the canoe and paddle furiously to the middle of the lagoon while the spray and coral from the explosion still splatters into the water around them. When they get to the floating figure they pull the body into the canoe. With Shultz balancing the precariously overloaded canoe, Heinz turns the body face-up… “????? Liebvort….. Stefan Liebvort????---- it kannot be…. Quick Shultzie—Ich think he iz schtill alive--- let uz get to zhe shore…” A few minutes later Heinie is trying to revive Liebwort while Shultz is going through his pockets to see if he can find any useful information--- and spare change…. “Himmel--- Herr Rommel--- lookenzie here--- here iz skeret planz fur zhomevhot kalled “S-bomben” und Helmut’s nephews essay… but…. but ---- how iz zhiz pozzible--- ich know zhat Helmut had it vhith him in France--- unt Helmut died in zhat explosion near Louis’ Farm….. Kan Helmut be alive??? Unt vhot iz zhiz about ein S-bomb??” “Heinz --- kan you revive him--- vhe HAF to talk to him… maybe he kan explainen zhiz mezz--- do you know him?” Between the CPR procedures, Heinz explains… “Zhiz iz Stefan Liebvort--- vhe vhent to skool together in Hamburg. Hiz mozzer vhorked for ein seaman entertainment company--- his father had zhomezhing to do mit zhe railvhayz but he left zhem vhen Stefan vhoz schtill younk--- Stefan vhoz bullied by everyvhon, und he retaliated by blowing up zheir bicyclez, deschtroying zhe newzpaperz zhey vhere zhupozzed to deliver und zhuch thingz. He vhoz kweit brilliant in zhum vhayz—he did zhe mozt amazink engineerink azzingmentz at skool--- but he alvhayz vhoz a bit zhuizidal--- but vhot bringz him here--- und look here on vhot iz left uf hiz great coat--- apart frum zhiz schorch markz…. Meteorite duzt!!!! Vhoz he in outer schpaze??” “Whake him up Heinz--- vhe MUZT talken to him!”

If you are quick about it you kan vhin zhe war in a vheek or zhoi--- SHE is down here wasting our money at zhiz time

Borink!- Nozzink to do--- all zhe Tommiez haz left on zheir vheek-ent pazzez, zho vhe target shoot to pazz zhe time....

Oh Yeah-- she would do that...

"Except zhat ich bin nicht Rommel-- Ich bin Helmut--- Rommel iz on ein island in zhe Pazific kalled "Tiny Dongle"- und zha t paper you haf iz not ein plan fur anyzhink, it iz zhe ezzay mein nephew vhrote fur hiz kindergarten teacher.... you kan make ein bomben frum zhat??? You are truely amazink!--- Your talentz are vhazted up here--- Gdfltz--- vhill you be zho kind to dizzazemble him und beam him down to Tiny Dongle???" "Of cours8 my d8ar!" BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT "Ooop555-- I might hav8 had th8 5etting a bit high?!"

Zhat'z zhe schpirit Nedz!

Pressing the re-assembler the homogeny fighter re-assembles on the dark side of the moon-- "Hmmmm-- Helmut-- maybe we lay low a bit--- " "OK- Gdfltz--- shall we lizzen to zhum muzik..." Let me juzt find zhe Rekord....

Topping up zhe feul tank, kicking zhe tyrez und chekking zhe oil level iz alzo guut idea....

After a second or two the dust bunny smokescreen fades away and the Outer Stellar Homogeny fighter re-appears in it's position behind the moon, untouched and untouchable by Mane's puny weapons, unless he wants to blow the moon away that is.... "So they want to play hard ball--- let us put one of their engines on fire.... bzzzzzzzzzzzt"

Duhh-- It iz Zimbabwe dude-- zhey don't have much uf anything--- except bank notes....

Zhat iz vhy vhe put Liebvort in it!!!!!!!!!! BUUHHWWHHAAAAHHHAAAAA

"Gdfltz-- do you really zhink it vhill vhork?" "Of course Helmutikins--- they are totally under our control--- look--- I will switch of the jet engines of the Mazzola Sleigh--- right now!" A beam shoots out from the spacecraft and turns a row of switches in Mane'z aircraft from "on" to "off"

ekzept zhere iz no schnow or treez or moozez in Zimbabwe... Zho vhe kall zhe big black tar thinge runiink frum vhon town to zhe next ein maine roat!

“Ok--- guut--- it zheemz Liebwort iz on hiz vhay--- all you Indonezian--- built ein schrine unt be prayink fur hiz zhafe pazzage---- Shultz…. Komme help me mit zhe Baka” Amongst the scrap left by the Japanese when they abandoned Rommel had earlier found a working Cherry Blossom. It has been cleaned and fueled. With Shultz and Robinson’s help it has been fitted under the Ventura awaiting the arrival of Liebwort. ‘Shultz…. Svitchen on ein homink beacon fur Liebwort, make uz zhum Kaffee unt let uz vhait fur zhat madman”

Iz kalled ein maine road on akkount uf zhe treez zhurrounding it unt zhe mooze droppingz in zhe zhentre

“Black two—do you see what I see…” “Hai Black one—famous Ka-mi tank just depalting Chi-Chi Jima- we make attack leadel-san?” “Ya betcha Jap arse we make an attack! Follow me!” The two pirate Hellcats roll over in unison and dive at the Ka-mi just beginning to move away from the shore below them….

“Ok zho vhe agree zhat zhat radio call vhoz ein sckam—obviously zhum child playing on zheir fazerz radio, by zhe zhound uf zhe voice- alzo- zhere iz no island named “Tiny Dongle” zhe localz zhayz a “dongle” referz to zhe male appendage… Zho—here iz zhe plan, we must get hold uf ein reliable zhourze to help uz underschtand vhot iz goink on- following our rezent kontakz it zheemz zhat Herr Red iz az konfuzed az zhe rest about zhe point uf all zhiz, und he haz recently been joined by Spectre USA. Vhe neet to know vhy vhe are all here on zhiz remote island- if zhere are zhum gods playink zhum game mit unzere livez vhe haf the right to bekomme acknoztickz—vhe know zhat Mane unt zhe Rat vhere trying to revive zhe S-Project but mizzez zhe planz- Vhe do not knowen vhere zhoze planz are, but zhey schould NIMMER land in zhe handz uf zhe Rat! Meantime vhe are tryink to find helpen to zhink zhe Yorktown zhinze zhat schiff haz fallen into zhe handz uf unskroupelouz baztardz zhat are trying to uze zhe vhar fur zheir own purpozez. Zhey are too heavily armed fur uz to tackle on unzere own Zhat iz vhere vhe are--- any zhuggeztionz?” The crowd under the palm trees begin talking among themselves- trying to find solutions 56 posts und 350 odd views to go Mane....

Bzzzzzrrtttt---- "AXIZ FORZEZ on Iwo-Jima komme in komme in--- LIEBWORT ARE YOU ZHERE?! Uh-oh-- Liebworth-- looken zhie at pozt 333.....Komme join uz--- vhe vhill guarantee you ein kamikaze flight!-- Pleaze do not approach zhe Kamel--- vhe repeaten-- do NOT approachen zhe Kamel--- zhe thing haz RABIEZ!" Bzzzzzrrttttt.......

Bekauze it prezedez tvo dayz vhere vhe kannot fight zhinze zhe Tommiez go on vheek-ent passes....