Edwin Rommel

Freitagz zhuckz!

Somewhere in Zimbabwe… Mr Chiriwiri was the strictest teacher in Buhle College Senior Academy One morning Joseph Simpiwe was one hour and thirteen minutes late for class. Joseph rushes into class—“Morning Sir, Mr Chiriwiri, I am so sorry I am late for your class” “Harrow Joseph, and what do you have to say for yourself?” ‘Well sir—I got up at five this morning and started walking to school along the maine road like I always do” “But Joseph- you came one hour and thirteen minutes late…” “Yes Sir, Mr Chiriwiri- I will explain- you see I walk along this road and one of those fancy South African cars come driving down the road very slowly” “Yes?” “Well sir- dis very fancy man rolls down the window and says “Harrow Boy”” ‘Yes” “I say “harrow mister”- the man he says- “I have lost a R100 note on the road”” “Yes?” “Well sir- you know R100 is about 12 gazillion Zimbabwe dollars- It can pay for my whole school year here at Buhle college” “Yes?- So you helped the man to look for this R100?” “No sir?” “?No?” “I was standing on the R100 note sir…”

“Himmel Herr Rommel vhot now---“ “Zhend--- Vhe don't do Broatvhay-- Konzerto'z are more in our line- unt zhe Blue Oyster iz zhe gay bar, not zhe Pink Lady—you do not know vhot you are mizzink- zhorry--- but vhe vhill haf to looken fur zhomevhon zhat iz zheriouz- out” “Zhat iz all?” “Ja Shultz zhat iz all--- truzt me—ich pazzed negoziazion 301 mit distinction at zhe Vienna Kollege”

"Errr Herr Rommel--- do you aktually KNOW vhot zhey vhont?" "Ich haf no idea Shultzie.. hmmmmm..... let uz zhend zhiz" "To unknown Allied Rezpondent-- zhorry- out uf fuel " "Err-- Herr Rommel zhat iz ein lie!" "Shut uppen Shultz!" "at zhiz time-- vhil haf to uze dead letter droppen in Luzon, zhe Pink Lady Klubben in Rutherford schtreet - vhear ein vhite bandana- komme alone-- all vhill be explained und payment dizzkuzzed"

“Any schtazion, any schtazion- Herr Rommel zhayz to please relay zhiz message to all Allied forzez currently engaged in the Chi-Chi Jima or Ivo-Jima area…. Herr Rommel haf vhot you are lookink fur unt vhont to make a deal—Herr Rommel haz asked me Shultz to monitor zhiz frequenzy fur zhe next four hourz” "Here Shultzie-- have zhum pineapple beer..." “Any schtazion, any schtazion- Herr Rommel zhayz to please relay zhiz message to all Allied forzez currently engaged in the Chi-Chi Jima or Ivo-Jima area…. Herr Rommel haf vhot you are lookink fur unt vhont to make a deal—Herr Rommel haz asked me Shultz to monitor zhiz frequenzy fur zhe next four hourz”

any good?

muzt be a floppy drive now

Zhat vhine muzt be hiz hard drive packink up....

Several hours later- back on the “Runway”- now anchored in a lagoon of an island near Formosa … After talking to every-one on the runway that might have even remotely significant information Rommel switches on the radio and turns the gain to full strength… “Any schtazion, any schtazion- please relay zhiz message to all Allied forzez currently engaged in the Chi-Chi Jima or Ivo-Jima area…. Ich haf vhot you are lookink fur unt vhont to make a deal—vhe vhill monitor zhiz frequenzy fur zhe next four hourz” “Shultz--- repeaten until you haf zhum rezponze…” “Guut Herr Feldmarschall” “Any schtazion, any schtazion- Herr Rommel zhayz to please relay zhiz message to all Allied forzez currently engaged in the Chi-Chi Jima or Ivo-Jima area…. Herr Rommel haf vhot you are lookink fur unt vhont to make a deal—Herr Rommel haz asked me Shultz to monitor zhiz frequenzy fur zhe next four hourz” …………………. “Any schtazion, any schtazion- Herr Rommel zhayz to please relay zhiz message to all Allied forzez currently engaged in the Chi-Chi Jima or Ivo-Jima area…. Herr Rommel haf vhot you are lookink fur unt vhont to make a deal—Herr Rommel haz asked me Shultz to monitor zhiz frequenzy fur zhe next four hourz” ……………………… “Any schtazion, any schtazion- Herr Rommel zhayz to please relay zhiz message to all Allied forzez currently engaged in the Chi-Chi Jima or Ivo-Jima area…. Herr Rommel haf vhot you are lookink fur unt vhont to make a deal—Herr Rommel haz asked me Shultz to monitor zhiz frequenzy fur zhe next four hourz”

“Zhere—at out twelve—about 30 miles out---- Ich think vhe haf it Herr Rommel” Shultz looks away from the flickering radar screen and then back… “Ja--- is definitely it… It is HUGE!” The Ventura starts dropping down in the direction of the blip…. “About 20 miles now” The airframe starts shaking with the increased speed… “About ten” All of a sudden the night sky in front of the Ventura explodes “Whoa man dat is far out- dem honkies are sure makink pretty lights!” “Hangen on!” Rommel pulls the Ventura into a screaming high G turn and heads back to the south “Zhe flack iz too heavy--- vhe vhill haf to make anozzer plan!”

By zhe vhay zhe CM zhaid "no one is so blind as he who would not see" but the rest ist all Greek to me...

wet wet wet................. Vhoz name uf band nicht vhar?

Ich tried zhe English schpellink fur you to underschtand eazier....--- aktually it iz wasser... Vhillkommen back Stanz--- ich vhoz juzt about to zhend Dr. Katzenjammer to you mit ein zhupozitry!

Having siphoned all the fuel possible from the FW’s into the Ventura, it is finally ready to take to the skies once more. The problem of the huge crowd blocking the runway is solved by the soldiers hanging onto the sides of the runway and kicking to turn it into the wind. The Ventura, now with a full crew compliment winds up at the end of the runway, and when it sounds as if the engines are about ready to explode, Rommel releases the brakes and the heavy-laden craft begins to move down the runway. At the very end of the runway the wheels skip on the water a couple of times before the aircraft slowly begins to climb towards the North, carrying with it the combined hatred of 300 previously marooned souls. “ All Schtazionz check in” “Shultz-navigazion” “Heinz Mid -upper” “Robinson- engineer” “Yo Brother- Friday in the front aiming the bombs man!”

Oleg Maddox’s world famous Il-2 Sturmovik series of flight simulators continues to expand. The latest offering, Il-2 1946, adds 36 new planes, four new gigantic maps, over a hundred new ground objects, and nearly 200 new campaign missions. This new opus also includes all of the previous Il-2 series content. What began as a one-aircraft study sim is now an astonishing anthology, with a whopping 229 flyable aircraft and over 300 aircraft total! Not to mention that players will have the opportunity to get a first glance at the future of the series arriving next year: Storm of War Battle of Britain via exclusive bonus videos. The game offers 32 new flyable fighters and bombers, and four new AI aircraft. Over the Russian Front, the player will gain access to six new versions of the Petlyakov Pe-2, the most famous Soviet level and dive bomber of the war. In the Far East and the Pacific, players will finally fly the long-awaited one true heir to the series namesake, the Il-10 Sturmovik. Other new planes range from the Ki-27 Nate, the plane that fought against the Flying Tigers in 1941, to the N1K2 George and J2M5 Jack, the two most advanced Japanese fighters of WWII. The player will fly over a dozen new jet and rocket aircraft such as the MiG-9 jet fighter, the predecessor to the famous MiG-15 that gained world-wide fame in the Korean War; the Ta-183, a jet fighter designed by Kurt Tank, the creator of the famous FW-190, and the Arado Ar-234 Blitz, the world’s first operation jet bomber. Large new historical maps of the Kiev region; a map of Manchuria focusing on a border region between USSR, China and Japanese-occupied Korea; a large bonus Burma map; and an online Khalkin Gol / Nomonhan map. The game features nine new campaigns with nearly 200 missions, all with incredible realism and attention to detail. There are detailed careers for fighter and bomber pilots, for the German, Soviet, and Japanese air forces, offering such varied objectives as flying jet bombers over occupied Europe, to intercepting American B-29 Super fortresses over Iwo Jima and Japanese home islands! As opposed to dynamically generated campaigns that shipped with our previous offerings, the new missions are all hand-made, giving the player much more detailed environments, and much more exciting missions. Three of the nine campaigns are a departure into alternate history, focusing on hypothetical battles between the Soviet Union and Germany in the year 1946 where WWII still rages on. Both the VVS and Luftwaffe now have access to advanced jet and rocket fighters, and other revolutionary technology. All of these new planes are modeled with the same incredible degree of historical accuracy and attention to detail as all the other planes in Il-2. With the alternate history campaigns, the player will gain access to such exotic equipment as Soviet mixed-power fighters, using both piston and rocket engines; will fly incredible jet aircraft capable of sub-sonic speeds; and launch wire-guided air-to-air rockets at enemy bomber formations. 1946 also adds an incredible variety of new ground targets, including, for the first time in the series, trenches and bunkers that give a whole new dimension to the ground attack aspect of the sim. The new planes, as well as many of the other ones in the series, come with a host of historical paint schemes, showing many of the individual aircraft or squadrons that served in WWII. Also included is a detailed document, totaling over 450 pages of information, giving the low-down on every single one of our 229 flyable aircraft, and allowing new players much easier access to the incredible variety of aircraft in the sim. Rounding off the package is a slew of exclusive bonus content including a making of, interview videos and screenshots of the new features, plus exclusive screenshots and never seen before videos taken from the next Maddox game: Storm of War: Battle of Britain. Those videos highlight some of the great improvements players will enjoy at end of next year. You’ll also find IL-2 Sturmovik: Forgotten Battles, Ace Expansion Pack and Pacific Fighters. I had nozzink to do mit zhiz!! Ich vhoz unkonziouz unt zhomevhoz pozted under mein name!

Hell-- you haf whater in all formz except coffee!!

OOHH- it haz emozionz! Havink feelinkz zhuck! Nicht Vahr CM???

Note to zhelf--- no more skrewing around mit Kamelz--- it might turn ugly...... Dein link iz not vhorking in Mozilla-- ich do not know vhot to tremble about! I neet to point out zhat Ich am Uberprotektor- RSPCA- Kamel Divizion- zho be karefull not to looze dein lazt friendz....

Err-- brilliant ich think??- but schtill doez not explain how a PM kan be zhent to you? Karry on-- nozzink to zhee here....

Which causes a small tsunami... which lifts the runway and pushes it towards the island and as it breaks over the small island, pushes all the marooned dissenters into the sea. Fortunately the "Runway" is now amongst them and most mange to get on board... "Zhomevhon--- juzt kick zhoze sharkz back into zhe zhea!"

Zhe Abwehr needz to point out zhum dizkontinuitiez in zhe Kontinuity Manager... 1) Zhurely zhe Kontinuity Manager kannot rezieve PM's-- PM's are sent to perzonz- not thingz--- If however, if the Kontinuity Manager rezpondz to a PM, zhen zhe Kontinuity Manager iz a perzon unt not zhum software as iz klaimed. Ergo= zhe Kontinuity Manager haz been lying fur kweit a vhile now unt kan be rekarded az an unreliable vhitnezz to any eventz in any threadz. 2) Further proof uf zhe human nature of zhzi kriminal iz zhe fact zhat zhe Kontinuity Manager iz in ein perpetual schtate uf drunkenezz, a very HUMAN trait 3)Bazed on zhe ramblingz above zhe Abwehr konkludez zhat : A) Zhe Kontinuity Manager iz Human B)Zhe Kontinuity Manager know too much C) Zhe Kontinuity Manager needz to be eliminated to enzure zhat Khaoz kan reign in future threadz In light uf zhe above, zhe Abwehr haz izzued ein vhet kontrakt fur eliminazion uf zhiz impozter... Zhum Befehl: Adm. Canaris

JAAAAAAA!

This is about as boring as the "Dropping the S-bomb" thread.... Sorry Speccies--- could not resist!

Good on you Spectre!