Donster

I think I have two of dem der t-shirtz. I could be per$uaded to part with one for the right amount of $$$$$. E$pecially now that they are a collector$ item!

Sorry Binky, proof is in the pic!

Here ya go Red! Now THATS a mug!

I's aim to pleaze!

Careful Geg! It looks like it could be a trap! Better let me take care of her for ya!

Q. How do you make a cat sound like a dog? A. Put it in a paper bag..................... Soak the bag in gasoline........................... light a match................... WOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF Ok, now lets give cats an equal chance... Q. How do you make a dog sound like a cat? A. Place Rex in the freezer for 24 hours and then run frozen Rex through a band saw. MMMEEEEOOOWWW

Top fifteen excuses to use if you're caught napping at work: 1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 2. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to." 3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper." 4. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!" 5. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!" 6. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance." 7. "Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend." 8. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?" 9. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 10."The coffee machine is broken...." 11."Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot." 12."Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!" 13."Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!" 14."Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without hands." 15."Amen."

Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..." "I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, that's not it," Catherine confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

Great shots Buster! Can't wait to get my system fixed and get PF loaded up!

1939: A bomb intended to kill Hitler explodes at the annual meeting of the veterans of the 1923 Nazi Putsch in Munich, but the Führer had already left the beer cellar. The German media accused Britain of orchestrating the assassination attempt on Hitler. Two British SIS agents, Major Richard Stevens and Captain S. Payne Best, are captured in Holland by the Germans. 1940: RAF bomb Munich shortly after Hitler appears there. 1940: Italians begin big offensive in Albania. 1941: Army Group North advances across the Volkhov river and captures Tikhivin. Hitler claims Russian losses are 8 - 10 million, which is perhaps double the truth. 1942: Operation 'Torch' begins with Anglo-American forces under Lieutenant General Eisenhower landing in Morocco and Algeria against minimal Vichy French resistance. Mersa Matruh is re-taken by British. 1942: On the anniversary of the 1923 Beer Hall Putsch in Munich, Hitler tells his old comrades that Stalingrad is practically in German hands, adding that he didn't want to take that city just because it happens to bear the name of Stalin. 1943: The Eighth Army gains the heights on the Sangro less than 100 miles East of Rome. 1943: Hitler in his last speech to Nazi Party says ‘We shall go on fighting past 12 o’clock’. 1944: For the first time in the history of the Third Reich, Hitler fails to appear in Munich to address "the Old Fighters" on the anniversary of the 1923 Beer Hall Putsch. Speculation mounts as Himmler reads a speech in the Führer's place. 1944: 25,000 Jews are forced to walk over 100 miles in rain and snow from Budapest to the Austrian border, followed by a second forced march of 50,000 persons, ending at Mauthausen Concentration camp.

Morning everyone.

SimHQ has been crapola for along time. You can't express an honest opinion without being jumped on like a bunch of starved hyenias. I am suprised it has taken you this long to notice that Gegster. But then you are young grasshopper.

1939: The Belgium and Dutch Monarch's emphasize their country's neutrality, but offer to act as peace negotiators. Hitler rejects the proposal, as do both Britain and France. 1939: Paul Thummel, a double agent, passes details of the German plans for the western offensive to the Czech government-in-exile. 1941: The RAF bombs Berlin with 169 aircraft, but 21 are lost. 1941: Speaking from Red Square in Moscow, with the spearheads of the Wehrmacht less than 100 miles from the capital, Stalin predicts that 'the Fascist German invaders are facing disaster.' The German High Command decides to resume the advance on Moscow as soon as possible, although by now it is estimated that 80 Russian divisions stand in their way. 1943: British troops launch a limited offensive along the coast of Burma. 1944: President Roosevelt is elected for a fourth term by defeating Thomas Dewey.

I ran out. Can you send me some JC?

My PC is dead. Using Lottie's for posting purposes. Will order a new PSU today. Way to go Iowa, Wisconsin and Alabama for winning your games yesterday!

Me thinks me power suppy is going tits up! Won't power up the system, just get indicator lights for a few seconds, then nothin'. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Links page In case your interested.

A Blonde named Diane buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that she decides to keep them in her bathtub. One day she invites her friend over to see all her beautiful goldfish. Lauren is impressed, and remarks, "They surely are beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?" Diane replies,............. "Simple. I just blindfold them."

Afghanistan Cruise We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became President. With that in mind We have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise. Attention! Would... Alec Baldwin Rosie O'Donnell Ed Asner Whoppi Goldberg Cher Phil Donahue Rob Reiner Barbara Streisand Jane Fonda Pierre Salinger and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets, and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise "Elation" which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan. You may opt at no extra charge to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise. Please pack for an extended stay . . .at least four more years. Note: Since you advocate strict gun control you may not bring any. Staffing your voyage is... Bill Clinton captain Al Gore cruise director Monica Lewinsky recreation director Ted Kennedy lifeguard/emergency procedures director Ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends, and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return. Bon Voyage! Is this a great country or what!

Excited about his new project concept, a movie producer had called together several big name draws to kick some ideas around. The project, an action docu-drama about famous composers featured Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwartzenegger in leading roles.The producers really wanted the box office 'oomph' of these three, and they were prepared to allow them to select what famous composers they would portray. "Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him." "Chopin has always been my favorite," said Van Damme, I'll play him." Things were going well; the producers were pleased. "Sounds splendid. And who do you want to be, Arnold?" "I'll be Bach."

A guy walks into a shrink's office complaining of trouble with women. The shrinks asks him what he looks for in a woman, and the guy replies......"Big tits." The shrink says...... "No, I meant for a serious relationship." The guy replies......."Oh, seriously big tits." "No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?" The doctor looked kind of worried as the guy sat there on his couch laughing.... "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big!"

1939: First big air battle on Western Front. 1939: The Gestapo rounds up 183 professors of the Jagiellonian University in Krakow and sends them to Sachsenhausen concentration camp near Berlin. In Soviet occupied Poland, Ukrainian peasants murder 200 Polish refugees after offering them food and accommodation. 1940: Britain promises financial assistance to Greece, starting with £5 million advance. 1940: Under-Secretary for War announces measures to give Home guard more permanent shape and better equipment without changing its ‘local and friendly character’. 1941: US gives Russia $1,000m interest free loan. 1941: The German blockade runner 'Odenwald' which is disguised as a US merchant, is captured by the US cruiser Omaha and the destroyer Somers. 1941: Finnish advance halted on the Northern Front. 1941: Stalin claims Axis casualties on Eastern Front now 4.5 million, when actually less than 700,000. First cases of frostbite in the German Army recorded. 1941: The Japanese Southern Army is ordered to prepare detailed operational plans for the up and coming offensive. 1942: Halted before Ordshonikidse in the Caucasus, the 13th Panzer Division is fighting to prevent being cut off by superior Soviet forces attacking its flanks and rear. In a speech to the Congress of Soviet Deputies, Stalin warns the United States and Britain that 'the absence of a second front against Fascist Germany may end badly for all freedom loving countries, including the Allies themselves'. He declares that 'the aim of the coalition is to save mankind from reversion to savagery and mediaeval brutality'. 1942: Further progress made by the Eighth Army with 20,000 further Axis prisoners being claimed. 1943: The Russians take Kiev and split the Fourth Panzer Army into three. 1943: The Japanese land reinforcements North of Empress Bay. 1944: Middelburg is surrendered by the 2,000 Germans. 1944: Tito’s forces take Monastir in southern Yugoslavia and now control the whole border with Greece. 1944: The Chinese 22nd Division crosses the Irrawaddy in northern Burma. 1945: Foreign Commissar Molotov announces that Russia will soon have the atomic bomb. 1945: The first landing of a jet on a carrier takes place on USS Wake Island when an FR-1 Fireball touches down.

Mornin. Might reach 65F today.

Now would that be a Grecian Urn?