Donster
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Posts posted by Donster
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Stans walks into a sex shop and asks for a blow up doll.
"Christian, Jewish or Muslim?" the sales assistant inquires?
"What's the difference?" Stans asks.
"The Muslim one blows herself up."
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"Stans won a multi-million dollar settlement after his
penile surgery was botched and he was left with a
three day erection. After winning, Stans said, 'This
is the 4th happiest day of my life.'"
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Morning all. Back north of the Mason-Dixon line. Reading, PA to be exact. Way to go Red Sox!
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Three female cats were bragging about their kittens. The first cat
said, "My kittens are part Persian. Their father was a pure Persian
cat." The third cat said nothing.
The second cat said, "Well, that is nothing. My kittens are part
Siamese. Their father was a purebred Siamese."
The third cat still said nothing. Then the first two cats asked her,
"What are your kittens?"
She replied, "Oh, I don't know. I had my head stuck in a tuna can at
the time."
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The Answer: A Cockrobin.
The Question: What are you putting in my mouth, Batman?
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Morning kiddies!
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I scraped this one up for ya Banger! Well, maybe "scraped" is a bad choice of words...
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Donster: "Banger expects what?"
Gunny: "A "Babe" of course."
Donster: "So where in the hell is Spams...er..I mean Stans?"
Gunny: "Beats me."
Donster: "Well he was supposed to fill in while I was out of town."
Gunny: "Damn kids, can't count on any of 'em."
Donster: "Well my photos are in the safe back home. Guess I will have to improvise somehow, and not get anything to risky on my brother-in-laws laptop or Lottie's sister will beat him like a rented mule."
Gunny: "Gee, I would hate to see that."
Donster: "Heh heh heh...like I care right?"
Gunny: "Have a drink Donnie"
Donster: Why thanks Gunny! Don't mind if I do!
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LOL! Isn't that Whizkid's age?
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A wealthy lady noticed that things weren't so clean in her house lately, so she summoned the maid to the parlor.
"Thelma, just look here.....I can write my name in the dust on this table! What do you have to say about that?"
The maid replied, "Yes'm, education sure is a wonderful thing, ain't it?"
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Not bad material Jay, just older than Moses, thats all.
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Off fur ein kouple of days!
Again? Sheesh! Rommel must be training to be a politician!
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Way to go Sox!
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Morning all. Rain here in MD. I owe you one Geg!
Because its actually 4 more days 'til Donnie goes marching home again! Hoorah! Hoorah! (Now try getting that song out of your head the rest of the day) -
There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're at death's door.
As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.
"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke "Ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"
"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe. So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.
Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
With his dying breath Pepe calls out... "Ugh, run, amigo, run!!
Wait for it………………….
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Ees not a Bacon Tree!", "Ees", "Ees", "Ees... a.... Ham bush"
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A couple of blondes went on vacation in Colorado. they flew to Denver and rented a car to sight see. One of the sights was a bridge that was more than 1,000 feet above the river.
Walking out onto the bridge, they noticed it swaying in the wind. Soon after, a car went past and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath their feet.
"I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," one blonde said to the other.
"What are you worried about?" the second replied. "It's a rental.
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I had Microsoft send me the free CD, but am waiting to load it, due to the problems it causes with AMD Athlon64 processors.
Buster, there is a small thingmie you can download to delay the requirement to install SP2 for 4 months. I don't have the link with me here in MD though. Check the Microsoft XP site for it.
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LMAO!
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Hi kids.
I didn't know Doug worked for Juan Valdez? 
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GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THINGS
(and Words)
HORRIBLE ETYMOLOGICAL REVELATION
In 1941 American military etymology lovers discovered with horror that the abbreviation CINCUS (Commander-in-Chief, US Fleet) implied the invitation to the enemy 'Sink Us'. The abbreviation abetting the enemy was hastily changed.
ETYMOLOGY TORPEDOED
Everybody knows about that naval weapon 'torpedo'. But only few people are aware of the connection of this word with the fish world though the torpedo was often called a 'tin-fish', a 'kipper', etc. The word 'torpedo' is a metaphorical transfer from the name in Latin of an electric ray from the family Torpedinidae which possesses a peculiar organ enabling it to stun its prey with electric shock.
EIGHTBALL
'Eightball' is a highly uncomplimentary slang word standing for a rather objectionable character ('gold brick', 'goof'). The word owes its origin to the billiard game where the number 8 ball has some restrictive associations which make it an object of disapproval. Namely, in a pocket billiard game, popular in the USA, the player loses if he directs the eight ball into the pocket. Hence, the phrase 'be behind the eightball' (in trouble). In the Army the word has likely connections with the expression 'Section 8' which was a section of provisions specifying the reasons for discharge from military service. 'Section 8' defined the reasons for discharge for reasons of mental, psychiatric deficiencies and therefore 'Section 8' figuratively means a 'psycho', a 'moron'.
DRONE
A drone is a collective name for pilotless aircraft. But original meaning was and is 'the male of the honeybee and other bees'. This particular kind of the insect through clear associations was connected with such notions as 'one who lives on the labor of others', 'an idler', 'a sluggard'.
These associations underlie the transfer of the meaning to an aircraft which was steered by remote control without a pilot. Initially, pilotless aircraft were used as air targets for training AA gun crews. These targets were marked with black stripes along the tail part of the fuselage. These stripes looked like those of a drone (the insect). Hence, the nickname. Nowadays pilotless aircraft are distinguished as drones and RPVs (remotely-piloted vehicles). Drones are program-guided while RPVs are piloted from a distance by operators. It is curious to know that bomber air crews called jokingly air gunners 'drones'. Probably because air gunners were idle during flights and had only lots of things to do when firing at enemy fighters.
SEESAW BATTLE
'Seesaw battle' is fighting with unconclusive result for both sides, with ups and down of war luck. A very well-known plaything of children (a rocking plank with a support at the middle) used to provide fun for kids was associated with some combat operations. British also use the phrase 'ding-dong battle' where 'ding-dong' is a figurative expression of back and forth motion of the knocker of a bell.
DEADLINE
This word is now a term. Its principal meanings are 'date limits', 'state of disrepair'. It's interesting to trace the development of this signification from the original meaning.
'Deadline' in jails meant the line in the yard where prisoners used to walk beyond which they had not to go. Guards could shoot dead any inmate crossing it. Hence the meaning (date or time) 'limit'. Vehicles with a long service period were scheduled to be sent to a maintenance shop for repair after a definite date (deadline). Those under repair were said to be 'deadlined'.
ABBREVIATIONS
(which do not abbreviate anything)
SOS. This abbreviation known throughout the world as the international distress signal, transmitted by Morse code by ships at sea or aircraft in emergency, is often decyphered as spelling 'Save Our Souls'. Though this interpretation seems very romantic it has nothing to do with the real meaning. SOS is the simplest combination of dots and dashes to be easily memorized by any radio operator or listener.
OVRA. This abbreviation fortunately is not any longer known to younger generations. But in the recent past it was as well familiar as German 'Ges-tapo'. OVRA meant Italy's secret police during the fascist regime. Mussolini chose this haphazard combination of letters with a purpose to impress Italian people with the mystery of the meaning. He said the more mysterious this abbreviation would look the more fear these four letters would inspire.
DITCHING
How the word meaning a 'ditch' (trench as an excavation) came to mean 'forced landing by aircraft on water at sea'?
During WWII British aircraft returning from missions in Germany had to fly over the English Channel. In the sailors' lingo the word 'channel' has a familiar synonym 'ditch'. Hence, the English Channel was called the 'Ditch'. Naturally aircraft made emergency landing in the Ditch. They were 'ditched'. Now the word 'ditch' means 'to land planes in emergency on the sea anywhere' (for example, such terms as 'ditching exercise', 'ditching drill', etc.).
KNOWING THE ROPES
Phraseology connected with the sea and sailors and sailing pervades the English vocabulary. Here
are some of the phrases of naval origin.
Know the ropes - know everything thoroughly about a subject. In the era of the sail fleets it took a lot of effort for a sailor to learn everything about the rigging of the ship (made up of canvas sails and ropes) and its manipulation. The expression 'know the hang' of something is of the same origin (know how to set up - 'hang' - various sails).
Of naval origin are such well-known phrases as 'full steam ahead', 'keep steady'. To naval activities belong 'steer clear of-avoid; 'torpedo an undertaking (conference)'; 'be three sheets in the wind', 'half seas over'-be drunk; 'go overboard'; 'clear the decks (for action)'-prepare for something; 'fire abroadside'-apply effort; 'lie of the land'- general situation-'See how the land lies'; 'Weigh anchor'-move off, and very many others.
SABOTAGE
This word meaning in English 'malicious injury to work, tools, machinery, etc., or any underhand interference with production or business, by enemy agents during wartime' should be traced to the French word 'sabot'-a shoe with a thick wooden sole. What has a shoe in common with the above mentioned meanings?
French workers used to show their protest against bosses with knocking with their sabots. Sometimes sabots were thrown into machinery to damage it. Hence 'saboteurs', acts of sabotage'.
WHAT GENDER AND WHAT SEX?
Why a ship is referred to as 'she'? But why a military ship is called 'man of war'? Now etymologists also ask what sex a computer is. A wit says that computers are feminine. They are admitted for their configurations, he explained. They have the ability of total recall and correct all mistakes (by men). They also predict future foolishness '(of men). And, of course, they are always right.
A DOSAGE OF ETYMOLOGICAL ANALYSIS
Ammunition. From the French 'munition' (all war essentials).
Bullet. From the French 'boule' (ball) -any projectile (cannon or musket). Compare the modern term 'ball cartridge' (sharp ammo).
Grenade. From the Latin 'granatus' (seedy).
Gun. From Old Norse 'Gunnhildr' (a woman's name). Weapons often received feminine names.
Missile. From Latin 'missilis' (a weapon or other object thrown or projected).
See also: LATIN IN MILITARY ENGLISH TEXTS
ATTACKING CISTERNS
This combination sounds like a pun or a phrase from a sci-fic story. But 'cisterns' was the code name suggested at first to conceal new weapons developed by the British in WWI. Instead of "cisterns' these weapons were shipped as 'water tanks'. Hence tanks were called 'tanks.'
TATTOO
Originated during the Thirty Years War, and called the Zapfenstreich. At 9:00 p.m. when the call was sounded, all bungs (Zapfen) (sticks used to cork wine barrels) had to be in their barrels, signifying the end of the drinking bout. A check line (Streich) was then drawn across the bung by the guard so that it couldn't be opened without evidence of tampering. Bungs were translated in English as taps and the whole command as 'Tap to' that became 'Tattoo'.
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LMAO!!!
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Morning all. I thought this was going to be the Red Sox's year. They most certainly had me fooled. Damn Yankees!
Three cheers for the Iowa Hawkeyes, Alabama Crimson Tide and the Wisconsin Badgers for their big wins yesterday!
Sorry Buster about Arkansas. They put up a good fight after being down so far early. -
SIGNS YOUR HOSPITAL HAS RECENTLY GONE THROUGH BUDGET CUTS
The stethoscopes have been replaced with two tin cans and a piece of string.
The X-Ray machine is now a 500-watt bulb and an Instant Camera.
The call button is a bicycle horn.
Dinner is Jello® in the shape of a steak.
The orderlies will only change your bedding if you leave them a tip.
The medical gowns have no back ... and no front.
You can only have blood drawn if you're already bleeding.
"This month only! 50% off stitches in our do-it-yourself wing!"
The pediatric and geriatric wards have been combined to save storage space on diapers.
Your oxygen tent is two garbage bags and some duct tape.
Coin-operated bedpans.
All medications are supplied by Placebo, Inc.
Uneaten food is now saved until it molds, which the pharmacy then turns into antibiotics.
Because its actually 4 more days 'til Donnie goes marching home again! 
Need some help from youse guys...
in Ready Room
Posted
Working on trying to establish an network connection with a laptop to an existing network. The Laptop has Win2000Pro, the two main PC's have XP. Cable internet is the source with a DLink router.
When connecting the laptop to the router, all I get is a very low light on the router at its connection, while the two PC's connection lights are bright and solid. Also, on the laptop, the "Local Network Connection" icon in "Network and Dial-up Connections" shows a "Red X" then switches off and back on continuesly. It won't allow me to delete this connection, and try to create a new one. The icon in the taskbar has a message balloon that switches back and forth from "Network cable unplugged" to ""Speed 10 Mbps". If I hook up the laptop directly to the modem, the switching stops, it shows an established connection, but still can't access the internet.
I reset the router to factory defaults, and reconfigured it and even updated the firmware. I have tried different cables, and switched connections on the router too, no luck.
And within the routers set up, I don't see where you can allow a certain number of connections, like you can with my Linksys router.
Any ideas? Thanks in advance.
Donnie