Donster Posted February 6, 2007 Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 A guy goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my 21 year old daughter is a slut. Every evening, she goes to Donnie's Bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me... where exactly is Donnie's Bar?" Paddy decides to go rabbit hunting, but when he gets to his favorite field he sees the village priest is already there. Paddy watches with fascination as the priest holds his finger over a rabbit hole and immediately a rabbit pops out. The priest grabs it and puts it into a sack. He repeats this unusual but very successful technique until his sack is full of rabbits. Paddy stops the priest and asks him how he does it. "Easy", says the priest. "Put your finger on your wife's pussy and then hold it over a rabbit hole. They can't resist the smell, so when they come out, grab them." Paddy rushes home to find Maureen bent over scrubbing the floor. He lifts up her skirt and applies his finger as directed. Without looking up, Maureen giggles, "Holy Moses, Father! Rabbit hunting again?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted February 6, 2007 Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 Did you hear they arrested an Eskimo pimp? He was charged with maintaining a public ice whore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted February 6, 2007 Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 Did you hear they arrested an Eskimo pimp? He was charged with maintaining a public ice whore. Hey,Toiletbowl Cranium, did you ever try drinking Liquid Drano? Check it out, I think you'd like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 6, 2007 Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me." The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?" "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever. "My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence." She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?" The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says ..... "Liver alone. Cheese mine." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted February 7, 2007 Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me." The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?" "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever. "My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence." She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?" The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says ..... "Liver alone. Cheese mine." OH, no, Stans, don't tell me you're going to the same Psychiatrist as DH? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 7, 2007 Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 I'm stressed, ok? Another dentist just set up his office near my office. He's Irish, I think. His name is Phil McCavity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JClark Posted February 7, 2007 Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 Sport, you need to lay off the nitrous.... Boats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 7, 2007 Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 Can I help it if I sometimes get a little down in the mouth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted February 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 Stans is chugging the Listerine again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 7, 2007 Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 Did you know that tooth paste was invented in West Virginia? It's true! If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called teeth paste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted February 7, 2007 Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 Did you know that tooth paste was invented in West Virginia? It's true! If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called teeth paste. These must be Dental School jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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