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Why men can't win...


cobraj
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Why Men Can't Win

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.

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I saw the ultimate doghouse the other day.

I got a call to install a light on the outside of it. The light was so you could see the area surrounding the adjacent 6-person hot tub at night. The doghouse itself measured about 25 feet x 10 feet; one whole wall (on the long side) was windows looking out into the thickly treed yard, a fireplace with large mantle was on one of the 10-foot wide walls; it had hardwood floors, a queen-sized bed, a 40-inch or bigger plasma TV, 5 speaker surround sound, nice couch, and decorated very nicely with all sorts of manly items like vintage skiis, African shield and spear, and the like.

Oh, I forgot the best part: the mini fridge :D

I'd be picking fights with the wife just to go hang out there!

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