Stans Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mane_raptor Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 There's a joke there somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world." Tom Thumb said, "I must have the smallest dick in the world. Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most tacky, rude, crude, gross and disgusting person in the world." So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified. Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It’s official: I am the most beautiful girl in the world." Next Quasimodo goes in and comes out looking happy and says, "I am the most tacky, rude, crude, gross and disgusting person in the world." Tom Thumb went next and came out looking sad and said, "Who the hell is this guy called Dark Helmet?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world." Tom Thumb said, "I must have the smallest dick in the world. Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most tacky, rude, crude, gross and disgusting person in the world." So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified. Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It’s official: I am the most beautiful girl in the world." Next Quasimodo goes in and comes out looking happy and says, "I am the most tacky, rude, crude, gross and disgusting person in the world." Tom Thumb went next and came out looking sad and said, "Who the hell is this guy called Dark Helmet?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 That confirms the theory that he wears such a large helmet in order to compensate for a small dick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edwin Rommel Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 There was this blind guy at the nudist colony How to tell which one he is in the crowd.... Well---- it is not hard.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 There was this blind guy at the nudist colony How to tell which one he is in the crowd.... Well---- it is not hard.... DOH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 Subject: NEW DIET A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your mine." He lost 63 pounds that week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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