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Red

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Morning. Snow today and currently 3F with -8F wind chill. Got about an inch of snow yesterday. We are ahead of last years snow fall for this date last year. And last year was a record.

I won't be around much today. I go into the hospital this morning for a Colonoscopy. Anyone who has had to have one probably knows that I didn't get much sleep during the night. And I do hope when you read this you were thinking of having breakfast, which now you aren't, as I have had nothing to solid to eat for 36 hours.

The Butt Doctor™...aka Dr. Chao, will be preforming his specialty, and I hope he is a little guy, not one of those huge motherf**king Chinese/Mongolian breeds. I am also worried that Itchie will come out of me while I am under sedation, and the Dr. will have had family that was brutalized by the Japanese during WWII, which means that The Butt Doctor™ will use The Anal Intruder™ ...

topsecret-analintruder1.jpg

XXXXL version ....

topsecret-analintruder2.jpg

Oh well...been nice knowing you all. :(

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Morning all.

Thinking about you, Donnie. You have my sympathies, but at least doctors use fibre optics for colonoscopies nowadays. Back in the day, the scopes were hollowed-out Louisville Slugger aluminum bats.

Good on ya, too, for getting a checkup in that, erm, area ... Colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer-related death in the Western world, so it's a must-have exam.

Enough of that stuff...

Going to be 16C/61F today. Woo hoo!

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Just got back from the hospital. Procedure went fine. Though I am still kinda groggy from the drugs. Which most people who know me won't be able to tell the difference anyway.

The Butt Doctor™ ... aka Dr. Chao did find a polyp (or a piece of Bubs Daddy bubble gum from the early seventies), which was removed and will be sent to the lab to check to see if it is pre-cancerous. I'll know that in a week or so.

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Just got back from the hospital. Procedure went fine. Though I am still kinda groggy from the drugs. Which most people who know me won't be able to tell the difference anyway.

The Butt Doctor™ ... aka Dr. Chao did find a polyp (or a piece of Bubs Daddy bubble gum from the early seventies), which was removed and will be sent to the lab to check to see if it is pre-cancerous. I'll know that in a week or so.

Pshaw! Bunch of wussies around here! About twenty years ago, (Oh, shit, here goes Whiz with the old man story!), The doc found several polyps in that area, and sent me to a specialist who recommended a Hemorrhoidectomy, which is like a butt reaming but worse! I'll tell you, that first dump had me writhing on the floor in tears! I've never had anything like it and hope never again!

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Apropos to today's subject: the following is a true story:

When I was 18-ish years old, I was standing on my driveway with some buddies. We were talking about girls and cars, of course.

My dad came out of the house and had to walk past us to get to the garage; he had to drive to the golf course for a game with his buddies.

As he walked past my little group of giggling chums, he chuckled.

I said, "What's so funny?"

And he said, I swear, "Enjoy it while you can, lads ... 'cause when you get to be my age, all you guys will talk about is your prostates and ass holes."

"Yeah, right!" I said.

How right he was. :lol:

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Almost forgot! Lottie informed me that The Butt Doctor™...aka Dr. Chao...gave her a printout with photos of my colon, the polyp and more. So I have a deal for ya...

I WON'T POST 'EM IF YOU ALL EACH SEND ME $100 US DOLLARS!!!

You haf tventy-four hourz to comply! :trustme:

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