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Funny for 5-29-2009


Stans
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A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but

how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply.

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the

very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself.

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man, our very own Whizkid, waiting

next to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was

young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.

It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under

your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best

of her.

She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

Whiz slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very

slowly and carefully.

He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.

He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each side of his head.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, kisses each breast and says,

'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you

tell?'

Whiz says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

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'I promise I won't' she says.

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'I was behind you at McDonald's.'

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