Donster Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why married women love Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Once upon a time in old France there was a small vineyard run by a coven of witches. The grapes that grew there were used exclusively for the production of raisins, and were always harvested under a full moon to preserve the magic properties some of them had. The witches believed that one full moon in seven was a bad one, and while the raisins made from grapes harvested under a good moon were ordinary (albeit of high quality) and mostly went to general consumption (witches have to make a living too, you know), grapes harvested under a bad moon would rot - with one exception: The biggest and strongest of the grapes would survive to become the legendary.... "Bad Moon Raisin". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Someone drop something on him will you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stag Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Wow,DH,you've really got Stag excited now!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sadie? A Jaguar? A mink coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much......" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted January 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 LOL! Good one Whizzer! Here's another... A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?" She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody at any time, any where -- your place or my place, it doesn't matter to me." The guy raises his eyebrows and says........."No sh*t? What law firm do you work for?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted January 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Blonde Joke... Q. Why are only 2% of blondes touch- typists? A. The rest are hunt'n peckers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 To all of the jokes above except for the bad joke of the day: To the bad joke of the day: We all know the lyrics go "there's a bathroom on the right." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married at all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water,and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said. "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful?" I was walking through park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.8.1 - Release Date: 1/27/2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Last one,I promise! Yesterday my friend came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So, he tied her up and went fishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted January 29, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2005 Last one,I promise! Yesterday my friend came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So, he tied her up and went fishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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