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Google insider information


Odontaspis ferox
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So tonight I went to dinner with a bunch of dudes and it was this live networking thing thing, which is like social, virtual networking, or digital, just not virtual or digital, but like, live. And so I was physically sitting next to the general manager of Google for this small European country, but he used to be VP for business development for Asia and before that he was head of neurolinguistic somethingorother, who knows, but it sounded cool. Anyway I kept asking him stuff, like innocent stuff, like what is Google's next big acquisition, stuff like that, and he's all 'are you crazy you can't ask me that' and I'm all 'I just did' and he's 'yeah and i can't believe you think I would tell you' and I'm like, 'the fact you won't tell me, in and of itself, tells me something' and then I totally put two and two together and I mean WOW I freaking worked it out, right? Asia? Neurolinguistic heuretics? Northern Europe! So I trucked home and I have taken my life savings of 4,302 dollars and Made My Play, because by my calculation the stock in this little Euro startup is going to go BUNTA anytime now and I know you know which one I mean but I can't spell it out because Google like indexes every page on the internet twenty times an hour right, and if I actually say it out LOUD then within about ten minutes my door would be kicked in by Google Ninjas and that would be the end of this beautiful story. Totally. But you heard it first here.

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So tonight I went to dinner with a bunch of dudes and it was this live networking thing thing, which is like social, virtual networking, or digital, just not virtual or digital, but like, live. And so I was physically sitting next to the general manager of Google for this small European country, but he used to be VP for business development for Asia and before that he was head of neurolinguistic somethingorother, who knows, but it sounded cool. Anyway I kept asking him stuff, like innocent stuff, like what is Google's next big acquisition, stuff like that, and he's all 'are you crazy you can't ask me that' and I'm all 'I just did' and he's 'yeah and i can't believe you think I would tell you' and I'm like, 'the fact you won't tell me, in and of itself, tells me something' and then I totally put two and two together and I mean WOW I freaking worked it out, right? Asia? Neurolinguistic heuretics? Northern Europe! So I trucked home and I have taken my life savings of 4,302 dollars and Made My Play, because by my calculation the stock in this little Euro startup is going to go BUNTA anytime now and I know you know which one I mean but I can't spell it out because Google like indexes every page on the internet twenty times an hour right, and if I actually say it out LOUD then within about ten minutes my door would be kicked in by Google Ninjas and that would be the end of this beautiful story. Totally. But you heard it first here.

I believe you, I believe you! Could I send you all my savings for deposit in your Stocks Account? Please?

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Bunta? As in "death by bunta"? or some other bunta? Is it an acronym? Esperanto? Ebonics? Oh gawd no! Is it German!? It's German isn't it. Damn!

Hold on ... maybe you just spelled it wrong.

Maybe you mean Boonta ... the holiday in the Stars Wars universe commemorating the Hutts' victory over the Parliament of Moralan ... yes?

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According to the Urban Dictionary Bunta means the following ...

Anal Rape

It was derived from the following joke:

Two explorers were walking through the African plains when kidnapped by an African tribe. The chief told the explorers they had two choices: death or bunta. The first, saying he has a wife and kids, easily chose bunta. The whole tribe bends him over and rapes him. The second, not wanting the ass rapage chose death. The chief smiles and yells to the tribe, "Death by Bunta"!

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