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Shivering Saturday


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Morning y'all. Here in good ol' Virginy, we've had an interesting week. Started with winter, then spring, yesterday was like a summer's day, today it is only fitting that it feel like fall. 39F, looking for sunshine and mid-50's today. Cooked 50 pounds of ground beef and chopped countless carrots last night at church while another member cooked 36 pounds of pasta, today the youth will put everything together for their annual church salad & spaghetti dinner and dessert auction. Y'all have a great day.

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Poor Donnie. What a wuss! You will take what The New World Order® gives you!

About time you did some real work Dromedary Dentist Stans. Instead of playing all day with your Dental Assistants and watching the money roll in while the assistants do all the work! Oh, and those two sets of books you have, one you show to the IRS and the real one, The New World Order® is on to you and will put an end to your cheating by basically taking everything you earn!

And now, some jokes ...

A housewife acquired a pet rabbit and taught it to do all kinds of tricks. She noticed, however, that the animal was very self-conscious and wouldn't perform any time it was being observed, which defeated the purpose of teaching it to do tricks in the first place. If she walked into the room when the rabbit was in the middle of a trick, it would immediately stop.

The woman solved the problem by concealing a video camera behind the refrigerator and filming its tricks. She showed the tape to her all friends, except for the neighbor across the street who were on vacation and missed the show.

One afternoon, the lady had to fetch something from the room where the rabbit was kept. She opened the door, and immediately the rabbit cut short a cartwheel and cowered in the corner, refusing to do any more tricks.

Just then, the neighbor across the street, who had returned from vacation, knocked on the door. "I understand you have a pet rabbit that does tricks?" she said.

"You'll have to settle for video tape," the lady replied, "because I've just watched my hare, and I can't do a thing with it."

One time an electrician came home drunk at four o'clock in the morning. "Wire you insulate?" his wife scolded.

"Watts it to you?" he snapped. "I'm ohm, ain't I?"

Captain Kidd prepared with his crew to search for buried treasure. Before setting out he consulted with his dentist, who advised him that all the best treasure out there was in the gold fillings of the teeth of various bodies, such as he might find in a cemetery or at the site of some battlefield.

He kept this advice secret from his crew, and so when they landed on a desert island, they scattered, each using his own preferred means of treasure hunting, while Captain Kidd looked for cemeteries. He found several, dug up the bodies, and extracted many gold fillings from many teeth. He also came upon an old battlefield, and by exhuming the bodies there he was able to find still more gold fillings.

He returned to the ship and met his crew, who had come back empty-handed, while Captain Kidd had two pouches brimming with the fruits of his labor. The crew asked him the secret of his success, to which he replied, "Before setting out, I consulted with my dentist, who said to me, 'Booty is tooth, and tooth booty. That is all you know on earth, and all you need to know.'"


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