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Whizkid & Old Guy - The Early Days


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Donnie, Donnie, Donnie,

You've made the same mistake my other biographer did. Believed captions on old photos. That ain't me in the picture, though some members of my family are there, most notably my cousin (by marriage), name of Chadwick.

Let me tell you about old Chad. We called him Chopper when he was a kid because he had this thing about axes. Still does, in fact. In his motorcycle gang, Flesh and Blood, he's known as Chad the Chopper. Luckily, he's doing two life terms for ritually dismembering a cheerleader squad. Unfortunately, he is in regular contact with the few gang members not serving time.

My biographer is resting in a shallow grave somewhere in Nevada. Chad sent me pictures of the -- uh -- sacrifice. I gave 'em to the cops, but there's little chance the body will ever be found.

When that picture was taken, I was in SE Asia, trying to convince State Department reps to support Ho in his struggle against the French. Alas, you know haw that turned out. I'd have been better off celebrating with the family.

As for Whiz, well, it's another case of mistaken identity. But I hesitate to comment on his family. I have enough trouble with my own.


PS: I'd start looking over my shoulder, if I was you. And don't leave the house without a sidearm and riot gun. :(

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