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Lament of the Sock Puppets


Old Guy
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Sock Puppets Aren't Much Fun*

Sock puppets

Sock puppets

Sock puppets aren't much fun

They don't sing or dance or crawl

They don't make much sense at all

Sock puppets aren't much fun

Sock puppets appeared in the fall

They're still rotting in the hall

Sock puppets aren't much fun

Dude says sock puppets have got to go

He's gonna give 'em the old heave-ho

Because sock puppets aren't much fun

Sock puppets

Sock puppets

Sock puppets aren't much fun

*Apologies to Dr. Demento

Ode to Sock Puppets

Though dead and stinking,

devoid of common humor,

and lacking social graces,

sock puppets may yet serve.

Whether to clothe a drunkard's foot

or grin foolishly from crackhead toe,

these collections of yarn and burlap

can bring -- not joy -- but warmth

to unwashed, smelly feet.

For who can tell what smells the worst,

rancid foot or sock puppet, dead?

Unsung they will serve until Fate takes their

rotting bodies to the local landfill.

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Ach! Himmel! Und now zhis? Ein inzult no doubt. Und advertizements for Zilly Puppets-People, und Affordable Schky Puppets az vell az how to Eliminate Unterarm Odor. Kould zhis day get einy vorse for me?

All New World Order members in favor of excluding Herr Soren Fick from the order say "aye".

Aye.

Aye.

Aye.

As the emperor I have three votes, so it is not looking good for you.

Now your day is getting worse.

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