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Preparink to evakuate: Kalling Fifi und Bridgitte


Herr Soren Fick
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Vizh all zhe zocial unvrezt und now zhe zhreat of zhe Ebola I am preparink to evakuate to ein zurvival schelter. I am kallink out to Fifi und her little friend Bridgitte az I hav vroom vor tvo guezts und I kould not zhink of einyvone elze I vould vant to hav vizh me unter zheze zirkumztanzes.

To get zhere I hav obtained tranzportazion zhat vill vork unter all kondizions. It iz also kvuit nizely armed und armored zho zhere vill not be einy problemz vizh beink attakted. I kall zhis vunder tranzport zhe Zweckgesellschaft gepanzerte mehrzweck-kettenfahrzeug. Vor eaze of kommunikazion you kan kall it zhe getten avay fazt vagen.

ZweckgesellschaftgepanzerteMehrzweck-Ket

Zhe zpace iz ein little tight but I know Fifi und Bridgitte like zhings zhat are ein little tight. ;-)

Zhis iz ein gute ekzample of zhe inzide of zhe schelter. Ve vill be kvuite zafe here.

shelterinside_zpsa61c8420.jpg

Iz nize ja? Und plenty of vroom for livink und perhapz ein little zomezhing zomezhing too ja? ;) Ve do not know but ve might hav to vrepopulate zhe vorld und zhis vould be ein gute plaze to schtart zhe new vraze ja?

Zo you let me know vhere und vhen I schould pik you up ja?

Zhe vrezt of you kan entjoy zhe plaguez und violenze zhat vill be zhe ende of you!

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Not too impressed with the transportation, Herr Soren, but I could definitely spend some time in the bunker, especially if Fifi and Bridgitte are going to minister to my every need!

Interestingly I have the same carpet in my Computer Room. Well, it's a start, nein?

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Ugh! Where do I begin? Jick, I'd say the only thing you can successfully evacuate is your bowels and I say that only because of the crap you spew here.

That's a nice bunker, too bad it is not Wick's. No, ladies, this loser lives in a different bunker, this one...

storm-drain-structure.jpg

I mean really, not even in a van down by the river. That would actually be a huge leap upward.

But he is not lying about his all-terrain vehicle, but he is fibbing about it being armored, armed, and seating three people. Here's Bick's transportation, stored inside his "bunker".

FIE6JB1FC2EFZMY.LARGE.jpg

At least it is a Schwinn, so he's got that going for himself. At least until the police find it because it's probably stolen.

Oh, and Fifi and Bridgitte, you might want to think twice, although I doubt you really need to think about it, about repopulating the world with Yick. I'd be afraid the offspring would likely turn out like this.

c-h-u-d-someocrighthere_804eae_4373393.j

And the thought of Sick procreating at all makes me throw up in my mouth.

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That transportation of your Herr Ick definitely looks like it was made in Illinois by UAW workers after a weekend enjoying a meth party. No real German would be caught dead in it. No quality there. You're standards have hit a new low, along with your vagina.

And you call that a shelter? I'd show you the inside of "The Babe Bunker™", but then I would have to kill you, and you're not worth the effort.

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Herr Vhizinpantz you vere not invitedt to mein bunker. I am invitink zhe frauleins und you schould probably take dein chanzes mit dein "buddiez" in Zan Franzisko ja?

Herr Ztains you schould not pozt pikturez of dein own schelter und try to pazz it off az mein. But zhat pikture of dein selbst schould help zkare off zhe intruderz.

Herr Dumzter you hav alvayz talked about zhis legendary Babe Bunker but never iz zhere proof of itz ekziztanze. Perhapz you are deluzional und need to be on medikazions ja?

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Herr Dumzter you hav alvayz talked about zhis legendary Babe Bunker but never iz zhere proof of itz ekziztanze. Perhapz you are deluzional und need to be on medikazions ja?

Well you see Herr Bunny Foo Foo, there indeed is a "Babe Bunker™", I control it. Only I know where it is. I have brains. Unlike your Führer. His bunker EVERYBODY knew where it was. Makes it so easy to understand how you dummkopfs lost the friggin' war!

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