Stans Posted September 19, 2015 Report Share Posted September 19, 2015 The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient. My therapist says my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me. My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon; now I'm worried about the 185 pounds I've gained. I'm getting really tired of always having to slowly raise my hand when someone says, "Who does something like that?” I wonder what the job application is like at Hooters . . . do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out"? The speed in which a woman says "Nothing" when asked "What's wrong" is inversely proportional to the severity of the shit storm that's coming. Denny's has a sign, says 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' Maybe just my opinion, but . . . if you're spending your birthday in Denny's, your life sucks. If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need. Enough already with the "How did you get in my house" business. The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she's going to get me something . . . . On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This pisses me off. I had no idea I was Japanese. I can't understand why women are okay with the fact that JC Penney has an older women's clothing line called "Sag Harbor.” I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos. What is it about a car that makes people in them think we can't see them pick their nose? When I die I want to be reincarnated as a spider, just so I can finally hear a women scream "Oh God, it's huge!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted September 19, 2015 Report Share Posted September 19, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Soren Fick Posted September 19, 2015 Report Share Posted September 19, 2015 Bwahahahahaha! Herr Stainz aktually poztedt zomezhink zhat vas vorzh vreadink! I zhink zhe lazt line zums up zhe life of Herr Dumzter und Herr Stainz perfekltly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted September 20, 2015 Report Share Posted September 20, 2015 OK Hairy Oil Slick. You come up with something that's not boring. Oh, and it can't make us throw up, like your sexapades at your local Blue Oyster Bar and Hemorrhoid Poking Lounge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted September 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2015 Hair Sorry Dick is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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