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joke thread 6/7


cobraj
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My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

When she said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"

I said "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about."

She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant!

I was ecstatic!

We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"

Then, she said "Oh, honey, There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said, (You're going to love this!)

"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"

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Hey! I finally have proof of the medical condition I am suffering:

A medical professional recently told me about a strange and little known malady. Somehow, it seemed appropriate to forward the information here. I did not make this up. Honest.

witzelsucht (vit'sel-zoocht) [Ger.]

"A mental condition characteristic of frontal lobe lesions and marked by the making of poor jokes and puns and the telling of pointless stories, at which the patient himself is intensely amused."

From Dorland's Illustrated Medical Dictionary, 26th edition.

:D

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A small social club was trying to organize a baseball team. They could only muster eight players, but were hard put to find a ninth. In desperation, they called on a new member, an Englishman, to join their team.

During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the first pitch, he knocked the ball out of the park.

"Run!" his teammates cried. "For Pete's sake, run!"

The Brit turned and stared at them icily. "I jolly well shan't run," he replied. "Why should I? I'm perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball."

:D

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A small social club was trying to organize a baseball team. They could only muster eight players, but were hard put to find a ninth. In desperation, they called on a new member, an Englishman, to join their team.

During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the first pitch, he knocked the ball out of the park.

"Run!" his teammates cried. "For Pete's sake, run!"

The Brit turned and stared at them icily. "I jolly well shan't run," he replied. "Why should I? I'm perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball."

:D

Oi! Us English blokes resent the implication that we would run just because we lost the ball! To walk shows much greater control of ourselves under adverse circumstances,doesn't it? Really,one must consider the implications of losing ones equanimity!

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