Joke Thread 06-10-05

[Donster]

A Glasgow woman dials 999 & requests an ambulance.

The operator enquires as to the nature of the emergency & the woman replies that she is pregnant.

"Madam, you can't have an ambulance simply because you are pregnant" replies the operator.

"Aye, I know," says the woman, "but ma waaaters have broke!".

"Oh, right well that's a different matter." says the operator, "Where are you ringing from?"

Woman replies.................... "Fae ma fanny tae ma feet!!!!"

[Stans]

[Whizkid]

Country Preacher

The old country preacher had a teenage son, and he thought it was time his boy began to think about what kind of career he was going to have. So, the preacher had an idea.

One day, while the boy was at school, the preacher decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on 3 objects on his son's desk: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey.

His idea was that he would hide himself behind the door in his son's room so that when his son came home from school, he could observe which of the 3 items his son picked up. The preacher reasoned that, If his son picked up the Bible. . . he was going to be a preacher. If he picked up the dollar, he would be a business man. And, if he picked up the whiskey bottle he would be a no-good drunk.

Finally, his son came home and the preacher hid behind the door to watch his son. His son entered the room, threw his books on the bed, and was about to leave the room when he saw the 3 items: the Bible . . . the silver dollar . . . and the whiskey bottle.

The boy looked at all three for a moment then made his decision: He picked up the Bible and tucked it under his arm . . . he picked up the silver dollar and put it in his pocket . . . and he picked up the whiskey bottle and took a real big swig.

Over behind the door, the preacher thought to himself, "Dear Lord . . .my boy's going to be a politician!"

[Stans]