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Joke Thread 06-18-05


Donster
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At a cocktail party, a man gets totally plastered, goes up to the host and says, "Excuse me, but do lemons have feathers?" in a slurred voice.

"I beg your pardon?" says the host.

The drunk asks again: "Do lemons have feathers?" as he struggles to hold his balance.

A rather bemused host says, "No, I don't think so."

The drunk looks sheepish then says: "Oopsie."

"What?" asks the host.

And the drunk: "I think I've just squeezed your canary into my drink."

:D

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?"

The guy answers, "A scotch, please."

The bartender hands him the drink and says, "That'll be five dollars," to which the man replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."

The bartender's not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink, but don't ever let me catch you in here again."

The next day, the same guy walks into the bar. The bartender says, "What the hell are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"

The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!"

To which the bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."

The man replies, "Thank you! Make it a scotch."

:D

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The Top 5 Differences under president Michael Jackson:

5: None at all, those rich white guys are all alike.

4: More crotch-grabbing than in the Clinton Administration.

3: "Today, the Dept. of Homeland Security upgraded the terrorist threat level from eggshell to beige."

2: Vice President Webster only a heartbeat away from the presidency.

1: "Seriously, I DID have sex with that woman....I SWEAR!....Stop LAUGHING!"

:D

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At a cocktail party, a man gets totally plastered, goes up to the host and says, "Excuse me, but do lemons have feathers?" in a slurred voice.

"I beg your pardon?" says the host.

The drunk asks again: "Do lemons have feathers?" as he struggles to hold his balance.

A rather bemused host says, "No, I don't think so."

The drunk looks sheepish then says: "Oopsie."

"What?" asks the host.

And the drunk: "I think I've just squeezed your canary into my drink."

:D

LMAO :D:D

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