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Tuesday

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Morning y'all, clear skies and 39F.  Expecting to see sunshine and a high of 65F.

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Morning all. 51F under overcast skies. Mostly cloudy. Chance of showers and a possible thunderstorm this afternoon. Winds out of the SW, switching to out of the NW at 5-15 MPH. High of 62F.

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Sure.  Happy to oblige.

 

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder . . .   (Stop me if you've heard this one.)

 

Oh, you've heard it.

 

Never mind.

 

OG

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Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."
The second one says, "I'll have one, too."
The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."
The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"

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Bak vhen Ich vas zekurity tchief at Vemork Hydvroelektrik zhe zientists zhere told ein fvunny tjoke to eatch ozher.

 

Vone day ein neutrvon vas valkink along zhe strasse und vent ento ein bar und orderdt ein schnapps.

Zhe neutvron azks zhe barmann how mutch he owedt fvor zhe schnapps.

Zhe barman zays to zhe neutrvon vou are ein neutrvon.  Nein tchardje!

 

Zhey all laffedt zo hardt!

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:rolleyes: I thought I smelled something around here. Fick is back. Here I blamed it on Joe Biden being in town Tuesday.

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1 hour ago, Donster said:

:rolleyes: I thought I smelled something around here. Fick is back. Here I blamed it on Joe Biden being in town Tuesday.

Perhaps his joke was much funnier in German, but that one barely nudged the needle on the Corn-o-meter.

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On ‎10‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 3:19 PM, Old Guy said:

Sure.  Happy to oblige.

 

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder . . .   (Stop me if you've heard this one.)

 

Oh, you've heard it.

 

Never mind.

 

OG

 

 

 

And the parrot says "Would someone please get this guy off my feet?"

 

(SORRY!)

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16 hours ago, Whizkid said:

 

 

 

And the parrot says "Would someone please get this guy off my feet?"

 

(SORRY!)

~groan~

 

Been hanging out with Fick in Itchie's Green Vinyl Seating Lounge again?

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A rabbi, an imam, and a priest walk into a bar.

 

The bartender says...

 

"What is this, a joke?"

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A grey goose walks into a bar.

The bartender says...

"Hey, we've got a vodka named after you!"

The goose replies...

"What, Eric?"

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Hello CSIM morons! To celebrate the new beginning of the Emperor's New World Order that starts on this coming Tuesday in the USA after the NWO Blue Wave that will sweep across the country, and will be followed around the world, here is a little joke for you amateurs...

 

An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a muscular guy. Then the alien pushes his finger into the guys shoulder and says: bloop, bloop, bloop! 

The guy looks at him and says," If you do that again I will cut your head off with this here knife!" 

The alien just did it again and said bloop, bloop, bloop! In anger the guy cuts off the guys head. Immediately another one grows back. Then the alien pushes his finger into the guy's shoulder and says: bloop, bloop, bloop! 

The guy says if you do that again I will cut off your dick! The alien did it again so in his anger the guy pulls down the aliens pants and is shocked to see that there is no dick! In his astonishment he asks," If you don't have a dick then how do you have sex?" 

The alien pushes his finger into the guys shoulder and says," bloop, bloop, bloop!" 
 

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Just about what I would expect from Dark Helmet!

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Only thing I can say about DH's "joke" is that I did not have to spend 5 minutes trying to decipher what he said.

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58 minutes ago, Donster said:

Dark Hole slipped through the CSIM garbage chute I see. And smell. <_<

Yep, and do you remember what I said to you about flushing the garbage?  I said flush it at least twice, maybe even three or four times, just to be sure it's flushed clean.  These darned low-flow enviro-safe units installed here will not flush everything down with the single flush as commanded by the Forumfuhrer. :lol:

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