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Joke Thread (20 July 05)

Dark Helmet

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Four men of the cloth were having lunch...the rabbi said, "To tell the truth, I like a little ham on occasion......"

The Baptist minister said "I like a couple of belts of bourbon in the evening...."

The priest said, "Well....I have this girlfriend...."

The Lutheran preacher said, "I love to gossip....."


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Extreme bumper stickers...

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

Support Cannibalism-EAT ME!

G~d is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's


I wasn't born a b*tch. Men like you made me

this way.

Keep honking while I reload.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot,


Who were the beta testers for Preparations

A through G?

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact


5 days a week my body is a temple. The other

two, it's an amusement park.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets


Your child may be an honor student but you're

still an idiot.

If you drink, don't park.

Accidents cause people.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.

Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...

or something like that.

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an


Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and


If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

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A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.

"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"


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