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Joke Thread (14 AUGUST 05)


Donster
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Q: What does it mean when a redneck's baby drools out of both sides of its mouth?

A: The trailer is level.

:D

Murphy showed up at mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life. After mass, the priest caught Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to mass, what made you come?"

Murphy said, "I've got to be honest with you, Father. Awhile back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during mass and I figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'thou shalt not steal,' you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right?"

Murphy shook his head and said, "No, Father, after you talked about 'thou shalt not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left me hat."

:D

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Joseph Schwartz, a career criminal, was wanted for looting in Israel's port city, Haifa. On the A.P.B. Wanted poster, he was described as the son of an ex-nun from Spain and a German father.

It went on to include the facts that he was a musician adept at the piccolo and often worked as a farmhand.

In other words... he was a Haifa lootin', flutin' Teuton, son of a nun from Barcelona, part-time plowboy Joe...

:P

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