Stans Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 A NEW DISCOVERY A Breakthrough In Government A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named В "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312 particles. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it will always impede every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead under goes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium-an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many "peons" but twice as many morons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edwin Rommel Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 Warnink-- insensitive rasist joke ahead--- only told by Naziz und South Afrikanz! Two muslim mothers watch their young boys at play in a park... Says one to the other-- "You had better enjoy them while they are young Fatima-- they "blow up" so quickly" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 If you're going to work here, young man," said the boss, "one thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" "Oh, yes, sir." "And another thing, we are very keen on truthfulness. There is no mat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 BECAUSE OF RECENT TERRORIST ACTIVITY, IT IS PRUDENT FOR SECURITY REASONS TO HAVE A MUSLIM NAME. SO, FROM NOW ON, PLEASE CALL STANS BY HIS NEW MUSLIM NAME: SELDOM BIN LAYED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shepherd Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 A man was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn't much left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 A man was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn't much left. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Barf,Barf, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 Subject: Another Blonde Joke A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman type person and started canvassing a well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reach! ed in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted August 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 To learn chinese read these out loud. 1) Thats not right....................................... Sum Ting Wong 2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding 3) See me ASAP.......................................... Kum Hia Nao 4) Stupid Man.............................................. Dum Fuk 5) Small horse............................................ Tia Ni Po Ni 6) Did you go to the beach?....................... Wai Yu So Tan 7) I bumped in to a coffee table................. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni 8) I think you need a face lift...................... Chin Tu Fat 9) It's very dark in here.............................. Wao So Dim 10) I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching 11) This is a tow away zone....................... No Pah King 12) staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo 13) He's cleaning his automobile................ Wa Shing Ka 14) Your body odor is offensive.................. Yu Stin Ki Pu 15) Great........................................ Fa Kin Su Pah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shepherd Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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