Jump to content

Joke Thread (19 AUGUST 05)


Donster
 Share

Recommended Posts

After a recent move, I made up a list of companies, agencies, and services that needed to know my new address and phoned each one to ask for the change to be made.

Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent flier accounts. After I explained to the representative what I wanted to do, the woman told me, "I'm sorry; we can't do that over the phone. You will have to fill out our change-of- address form."

"How do I get one of those?" I asked.

"We'd be happy to provide you with one," she said pleasantly. "May I have your new address so that I can mail it to you?"

:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."

The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.

"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.

Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"

"Yes," motioned the monkey.

"What happened?"

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer.

"Yes."

"What else?"

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.

"They were smoking marijuana?"

"Yes."

"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked."

"Yes."

"What were you doing during all this?"

"Driving" motioned the monkey.

:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is a traditional sport in Ireland, called "Cliff Shoving". It involves a small local rodent called a rarie (which is similar to a lemming) being pushed off a cliff.

The aim of the game is to see who can get the poor animal to go over the edge with the least amount of effort.

Of course, these days people aren't so keen on blood sports, and the animal rights people wouldn't like it either, so it's changed from a cliff into a small shallow pit that the rodents are pushed into.

This in turn has made it much easier to get the animals to jump, to the point where, with a properly trained rarie, it takes barely a touch to get it into the pit.

The sport is mostly based only in Ireland, but they do get the occasional overseas competitor. Recently, they had a fellow come all the way from Australia to take part.

During a break, he mentioned that he'd had a eighteen hour journey to get there.

"But I guess I always knew it would be a long flight," he said. "After all, it's a long way to tip a rarie."

:P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...