Jump to content

How men search for a wife


Shepherd
 Share

Recommended Posts

Fisherman

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

Salesman

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!

Economist

I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.

Mathematician

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

IT Consultant

Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.

Businessman

Wife wanted for company.

Politician

I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)

Car Dealer

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.

Farmer

Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for planting flower in my life.

Lawyer

I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.

Banker

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

Accountant

Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

Drunkard

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to home. Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

Minicab Driver

Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.

Builder

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

Doctor

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.

Army Commando

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.

RaceCar Driver

A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep pace!

Astronaut

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!

AND THE GRAND FINALE:

Pilot

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Combatsimian:

Need wife.  Need babe chick techie.  Got blue screen.  Got busted stick.  No beer in cooler.  No food.  Dog has fleas.  Simian have fleas.  Need beer.  Need beer and wife.

:P

Jim

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:lol::lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ronin is ask all the ladies...please form line to be interview for ronin love effect. Take a number to wait turn evaluation. Have some nice green seat for you with sushi treats.

Must be able you tend to captured the allied pilots in lounge and prepare food and song this Samurai

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ronin is ask all the ladies...please form line to be interview for ronin love effect. Take a number to wait turn evaluation. Have some nice green seat for you with sushi treats.

Must be able you tend to captured the allied pilots in lounge and prepare food and song this Samurai

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ronin's women fits the first line..."cook worms and clean fish". :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...