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Joke Thread (17 SEPTEMBER 05)


Donster
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Because my client is uncertain which of the two men with whom she lived concurrently is the father of her child, Your Honor," stated the lawyer, "she seeks to combine them as joint defendants in this legal action."

"So what she is really filing," commented the judge in a wry tone, "is a paternity suit with two pair of pants."

:D

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"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

"Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room."

"Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

"You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

"That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

"He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

"Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

"It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

:D

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In the early 1900s, the president of America went to visit Russia. Of course, Russia was still ruled by the Czar back then, and the American President was warmly welcomed by the whole Russian royal household.

As the two leaders and their entourages were dining one day, in one of the huge dining rooms in the palace, the Americans were telling the Russians about some of the great things in their country. One of the topics of conversation was the Grand Canyon in Colorado. Of course, the American were quite boastful about this being the largest canyon in the world, when suddenly, from the head of the table, the Czar stood up, and made an announcement.

"In Russia," he said, "we have a canyon even bigger than your Grand Canyon!"

Now no-one was going to stand up and contradict the Czar, but of course no-one believed him either.

Finally, the American president stood up, and said "Okay. Let's see this canyon then."

So an expedition was organised. Of course, their destination was way out in the remote wilderness, and they only had horses to travel with, so the going was slow. But eventually, after several weeks gruelling journey, they finally arrived at where the canyon was supposed to be.

But there wasn't one. Not even a little one.

And then it dawned on everyone - he had been using Czar chasm to make them look stupid.

:P

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(And then it dawned on everyone - he had been using Czar chasm to make them look stupid.)

Does anyone know where DH hangs out? I really,REALLY,REALLY, need to sit him down and have a little chat! Or something! :ph43r:

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