Donster Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Because my client is uncertain which of the two men with whom she lived concurrently is the father of her child, Your Honor," stated the lawyer, "she seeks to combine them as joint defendants in this legal action." "So what she is really filing," commented the judge in a wry tone, "is a paternity suit with two pair of pants." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Been hanging out with Dark Helmet again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted September 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Local Gas Station/Liquor Store is running a special: You buy ten dollars worth of gas, You get to keep the shot glass it comes in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted September 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!" "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution." "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room." "Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches." "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue." "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!" "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration." "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?" "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted September 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Been hanging out with Dark Helmet again? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That damn Donster is begining to steal my material! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 In the early 1900s, the president of America went to visit Russia. Of course, Russia was still ruled by the Czar back then, and the American President was warmly welcomed by the whole Russian royal household. As the two leaders and their entourages were dining one day, in one of the huge dining rooms in the palace, the Americans were telling the Russians about some of the great things in their country. One of the topics of conversation was the Grand Canyon in Colorado. Of course, the American were quite boastful about this being the largest canyon in the world, when suddenly, from the head of the table, the Czar stood up, and made an announcement. "In Russia," he said, "we have a canyon even bigger than your Grand Canyon!" Now no-one was going to stand up and contradict the Czar, but of course no-one believed him either. Finally, the American president stood up, and said "Okay. Let's see this canyon then." So an expedition was organised. Of course, their destination was way out in the remote wilderness, and they only had horses to travel with, so the going was slow. But eventually, after several weeks gruelling journey, they finally arrived at where the canyon was supposed to be. But there wasn't one. Not even a little one. And then it dawned on everyone - he had been using Czar chasm to make them look stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted September 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Ugh. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I never knew Stans was part Cherokee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Yeah, may have a little American Indian in me. I walk very softly and when I get mad, I start thinking about scalping people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted September 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Yeah, may have a little American Indian in me. I walk very softly and when I get mad, I start thinking about scalping people. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh...so your a Barber by profession? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Hold still, this won't hurt....... me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shepherd Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 (And then it dawned on everyone - he had been using Czar chasm to make them look stupid.) Does anyone know where DH hangs out? I really,REALLY,REALLY, need to sit him down and have a little chat! Or something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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