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Joke Thread (28 SEPTEMBER 05)


Donster
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The Mexican milkmaid was forced to choose between her lover and her career. That's right, Juan or the udder.

Did you hear about the cannibal Russian soldier? When he went to McDonald's in Red Square and got a Big Mac, he said - "Tastes like Chechnyen."

Didja hear about the crosseyed trombone player who loved Easter candy but only ate it on airplanes? He was a walleyed one horn flying purple Peeps eater.

:P:P:P

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Hurricane jokes...

1. A man swims into a New Orleans bar... Bartender says "hey, whats with the turd on your head?"

2. The Mayor of New Orleans has denied cancelling Mardi Gras this year, in fact he said today "I expect a record number of floats on Main St this year!"

3. A Red Cross leader visited New Orleans and spoke with some volunteers. "You're doing a great job here and you're work is highly appreciated."

He says to the first guy, "Where you from?" he asks. The man replies "Boston." "What state is that in?" he asks. The man replies "Massachusetts.

"Moving on to the next guy, he once again shows his appreciation for his efforts and asks where he is from. The man replies "Dallas." The leader then asks; "what state is that in?," and the guy replies "Texas."

Moving on to the third guy, a European, he once again shows his appreciation and asks where he's from. The guy replies "Venice." The leader asks; "what state is that in?" To which the man replies; "Pretty much similar to this!"

Sung to the tune of Hank Williams "Jambalaya"

Good-bye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh. That Katrina's coming fast right up the the bayou.

All the troops in Iraq, me oh my oh,

Grab the gun, we're going lootin' on the bayou...

Chorus: A microwave, two door fridge and playstations. By the time anyone gets here we'll be in rio. Brand new car, cuban cigar and be gay-o Grab a gun, we're going lootin' on the bayou...

It's the land of the free me o my-o Crash and carry, take away, me o my-o Drag all the way to tennessee from the bayou All be for sale come next week on the-bayooooou.

repeat Chorus.

:lol:

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Hurricane jokes...

1. A man swims into a New Orleans bar... Bartender says "hey, whats with the turd on your head?"

2. The Mayor of New Orleans has denied cancelling Mardi Gras this year, in fact he said today "I expect a record number of floats on Main St this year!"

3. A Red Cross leader visited New Orleans and spoke with some volunteers. "You're doing a great job here and you're work is highly appreciated."

He says to the first guy, "Where you from?" he asks. The man replies "Boston." "What state is that in?" he asks. The man replies "Massachusetts.

"Moving on to the next guy, he once again shows his appreciation for his efforts and asks where he is from. The man replies "Dallas." The leader then asks; "what state is that in?," and the guy replies "Texas."

Moving on to the third guy, a European, he once again shows his appreciation and asks where he's from. The guy replies "Venice." The leader asks; "what state is that in?" To which the man replies; "Pretty much similar to this!"

Sung to the tune of Hank Williams "Jambalaya"

Good-bye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh. That Katrina's coming fast right up the the bayou.

All the troops in Iraq, me oh my oh,

Grab the gun, we're going lootin' on the bayou...

Chorus: A microwave, two door fridge and playstations. By the time anyone gets here we'll be in rio. Brand new car, cuban cigar and be gay-o Grab a gun, we're going lootin' on the bayou...

It's the land of the free me o my-o Crash and carry, take away, me o my-o Drag all the way to tennessee from the bayou All be for sale come next week on the-bayooooou.

repeat Chorus.

:lol:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thought you did not like country music?

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In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about

a very old Jewish man who had been going to the

Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday,for a

long, long time. So she went to check it out. She

went to the Wailing Wall and there he was. She

watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, and

when he turned to leave, she approached him for

an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long

have you been coming to theWall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray

for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews

and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop

and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety

and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a friggin' wall, you idiot!"

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Here is a German joke:

One morning, two Englishmen are strolling down a London street, when they see a stray dog licking its own testicles.

One of the Englishmen turns to the other and says, "Say, I wish I could do that!"

His mate watches the dog for a moment, sighs longingly, and replies, "I should say so! But don't you think you ought to get to know him first?"

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Donnie is Ronin!!!!! :o

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If Donnie isn't Donnie, Donster, Ronin, Itchie, Ronin or Dark Helmet....then he must be...

WE'RE SORRY. THE ANNOUNCEMENT YOU WERE ABOUT TO READ HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE FORUM GESTAPO. WE RETURN YOU NOW TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BULLSHEISS...

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A zebra dies and arrives in Heaven.

He asks St. Peter, "I have a question, that has haunted me all my life =

. . . Am I a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with

white stripes?"

St. Peter said, "That's a question that only God can answer."

So...the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra

asked, "God, please---I must know--- am I a white horse with black

stripes, or a black horse with white stripes?"

God simply replied, "You are what you are."

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more. St. Peter asked, "Well,

did God answer your question?"

The zebra looked puzzled. "No . . . He just said, 'You are what you

are.' "

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, that answers

it----you are a white horse with black stripes."

"Huh?" The zebra said, still puzzled. "How do you know that?"

"Because," said St. Peter, "If you were a black horse with white

stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is!"

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