Jump to content
COMBATSIM Forum

Comedian Richard Pryor dies


Donster
 Share

Recommended Posts

Rest In Peace, Mudbone

He came from Tupelo, Mississippi. That's a city, near Onepelo. But you don't know nothing 'bout that, you're just a city slicker. ;) He once told me, Mudbone did, the Man of honor for this eulogy, he once told me that Winos ain't scared of nothing except running out of wine

This man Mudbone, he drove a tractor all the way here, on one tank of gas. You see he was working on the reservoir at the time, and the thing done busted, fit to flood the town. Well, he couldn't take the time to tell everyone about it, you see? They were going to find out about it anyway sooner or later. So he come up here.

Worked for a man once, a good man, a fair man. But he had a son, called Junior. Had a c0ckeye, his eye looking every which-a-way. Couldn't tell who he was looking at. He'd say "Pick that up!" and five or six men bend down to get it! So they called him "c0ckeyed Junior."

Well, Mudbone left that place with his friend, Toodlum. Him and Toodlum was good friends, they go everywhere together. This was hard times, mind. No work for most folks, see? But Mudbone and Toodlum they had jobs, see? They take the bus together everyday. One day, Mudbone, he knows his girl fooling around. So he leaves a trap, see? He makes like he walks to the bus stop with Toodlum as always, but he take another street and come back home right away. His trap was like this: he nailed the toilet seat down, you see? No girl in the world take a leak without the seat down. So he goes in through the bathroom window and sees this other man struggling with the seat.

This man, you see? He was cheating with Mudbone's girl, and he punches Mudbone! Well, Mudbone was real strong in those days you see? He was just strong enough, just strong enough to pick up his pistol. And he shot that man. Every time Mudbone shoot him, he grabs the place he's been shot, and then Mudbone shoots him someplace else.

Well, Toodlum and Mudbone left town after that, being of a mind to move on, you see? Yes, it was time, see? But Toodlum's feet was hurting real bad. Mudbone, he took all his money and bought a car, and he drove Toodlum to Miss Rudolph, the hoodoo lady. The deer was named after her, you see?

So Toodlum and Mudbone see Miss Rudolph. Powerful stink in her house. Knocked Mudbone to his knees! He says, "Please Miss Rudolph, can you help?" She says "Yes, if you get me a Turkey for Thanksgiving." Well, she gives old Mudbone plenty of reason to get that Turkey, you believe me? She knows the hoodoo.

So she helps Toodlum. Gets a big pan and she does her hoodoo. that pan was filled with some foul foul water, pee water. Well the water, it turns blue! Miss Rudolph did the hoodoo, you see? And she tells Toodlum to stick his feet in it! Well Mudbone he tells him go on. Mudbone ain't never letting Toodlum live it down if he does it! And when he puts his foots in, smoke comes out the pan. And Toodlum's feets is cured! But they are real tiny, like a baby's feets!

Well, Toodlum goes berserk, Mudbone told me it this way:

He gets up, and kicks Miss Rudolph in the butt. Wears out three pairs of kneecaps kicking her. She had a monkey, and he throws it through the window! Miss Rudolph, she wore a charm around her neck, a paw from the monkey. Well Toodlum grabs it and swallows it. But he shouldn't of done that, you see? Because it was no good for him. You can see him today if you go down to the zoo. Yessir, the zoo. He's the Polar bear, you see?

With little tiny feets!

We'll miss you Richard :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...