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Jokes (14 JANUARY) 2006


Dark Helmet
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Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best: The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength--none in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion and stinker!

:P

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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart a** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

:D

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Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best: The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength--none in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion and stinker!

:P

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Anybody got one of them air fuel bombs laying around

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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart a** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

:D

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:rofl::rofl:

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Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best: The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength--none in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion and stinker!

:P

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Talking about stinkers!!!

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A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said,

"I've lost my grandpa."

The cop asked, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied,

"Jack Daniels and women with big tits!" :rofl:

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AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the

doctor's office and said that her body

hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!"

says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her

left breast and screamed, then she pushed

her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed

her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her

ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched

made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead,

are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger

is broken."

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