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Joke Thread (18 JANUARY) 2006


Donster
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This guy's wife bugged him every year to take her along on his hunting trip.

"No, Dear, none of the other wives go...."

"No, Honey, there'd be nothing for you to do...."

He'd about run out of excuses. Finally, he gave in, but only if she'd agree to dress like a man...cut her hair very short, wear one of his old outfits, and not let on who she really was. Her name would be 'George', an old service buddy.

To his disgust, she agreed.

The first night, they were all sitting around the fire drinking and swapping yarns....the wife was trying to act casual and do as the others did, but didn't realize the crotch of her husband's old hunting pants was torn out...as she was sprawled out on the ground, propped up on a log, slightly boozy from matching the men's drinking, the guy across from her was in the middle of one of his stories.....

"I'll tell ya', guys...that buck had a rack that musta been...."

He suddenly stopped and eyed the view across the fire.

"Um...anyway," he tried to continue..."That there buck....." His eyes returned to the sight before him....

"Uh, George....ol' Buddy.....I don't mean to be a smartass here, but damn if you ain't got the longest asshole I ever seen.....on a MAN, that is"!

:D

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A happily married man had only one complaint, his wife was always nursing sick birds.

One November evening, he came home to find a raven with a splint on its beak sitting in his favorite chair. On the dining room table there was a feverish eagle pecking at an aspirin while in the kitchen his wife was comforting a shivering little wren that she found in the snow.

The furious spouse strode over to where his wife was toweling down the cold little bird. "I can't take it any more! We've got to get rid of all of these darn..."

The wife held up her hand to cut him off in mid-curse. "Please Dear," she said, "Not in front of the chilled wren."

:P

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DH,

That's like the third or fourth "fowl" joke you have told in the past few days. What's your hang up with birds? It's getting tedious, man!

Why don't you take your bird "jokes" and get the flock outta here?

Jeesh!!!!!!!!!! :rofl:

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Oh sorry Mr. Moose. Here is something completely different...

He made money sending thousands of junk emails to people, but one day he made a mistake and sent a whole load of them to a famous Hollywood actress. She was so angry that she had him beaten up, and that's how he came to be known as The Star Mangled Spammer.

:P:P

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DH,

That's like the third or fourth "fowl" joke you have told in the past few days.  What's your hang up with birds? It's getting tedious, man!

Why don't you take your bird "jokes" and get the flock outta here?

Jeesh!!!!!!!!!! :rofl:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He would,Mane,but he's too chicken! :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Subject: WELFARE....................>

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the

counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather

have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.

We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a

chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes and he'll supply all of your

clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected

to escort the daughter on her overseas Holiday trips.

You will have to satisfy her "urges" as well.

You'll be housed in a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting

salary is $200,000 a year".

The guy says, "You're bullsh*ttin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."

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