Donster Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®. Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®. Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectre_USA Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 Ta-kill-ya? Maybe South of the border. My doctor prescribes Scotch Whiskey™. Mmm, mm. Breakfast o' Champions! The side effects of Scotch Whiskey™ are similar, but less severe in most cases. Getcher self a case of Scotch Whiskey™ today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dude Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 Tequila is great if you enjoy begging God to let you live through the resulting hangover. The stuff should be illegal...seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schatten Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 I only touch the stuff on Cinco de Mayo and that's because one of my friends is Mexian and makes me go out to the bars with him on it. One shot, no more, no less is what I'll drink. And then usually I have to go purge it, then settle down and do about a fifth's worth of shots of Beam. It's the only alcohol that does that to me. There's a good story on tequilla does that to me...but I ain't telling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 Youse Bourbon guys don't know what a real mans drink is like! Try a Tequila Sunrise first thing in the morning,i.e. Tequila and Orange juice. Puts a spring in your step and hair on your chest (assuming you don't have any to start with!) The on to Bacon and Eggs,followed by coffee. Pat your wifes butt and ask if there's anything she'd like for you to do. After she stops laughing,have another TS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schatten Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 Okay Whizzers that's throwing down the gauntlet, so I have to pick it up. Here's the story. The reason I can no longer drink tequilla is because of Tequilla Sunrise as a matter of fact. See I was in college and going to a party out at a friend's house out at the lake, it was a Halloween party and I was taking a car full of womenfolk out there. Now womenfolk being the way they are getting dressed on a normal day you can imagine how they are getting ready to go to a Halloween party...yeah we got there about 2 hours after the party started. So I had to catch up ya know? So one of the girls there I was friends with bought a bottle of tequilla, never had it before, decided she didn't like it, her boyfriend took it and made pitchers of tequilla sunrise with about 90% teqilla and 10% juice. That seemed the ticket for me to "catch up" with. So I drank a pitcher of it...in about 10 minutes. Yeah. Evil. I prayed for death repeatedly. Ever since that night I can't even stand the taste of tequilla, and if one shot goes down, like it has to on Cinco de Mayo, then I politely excuse myself, get rid of said shot, and then settle down for serious drinking. It's kind of bizarre really, I mean I've "overindulged" on everything from bourbon, to vodka, to grappa, to Jaegermeister (that's an even better story) to...well hell I don't think there's a type of liquor I haven't gotten shitcanned on. But tequilla remains my bogeyman, all because of that party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 Sorry to read that,Schatt. As always,moderation in everything,right? Unfortunately,when we're young it's a lesson to be learned,as I also have. Now,after over-indulging too frequently when Cruising in Mexico,I only drink a TS in the PM in the Summer! Still a nice drink,at about 10% Tequila and 90% OJ! Stick to the Cerveza,old boy,it's better for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectre_USA Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 Grappa? I didn't know that anyone else State-side had ever heard of that one. Over in Italy, at Aviano AB, a few buddies of mine and I went down to Pordenone, the closest little town in the area, and decided to check the local flavors. Ol' "Pink" Floyd, all 6' 10' of him, went to down a nip bottle of "Grappa". Held his nose and chugged it. Swallowed, made a satisfied look, and removed the nose pinch. Zing! Here comes the very slightly processed Grappa! Me? I saw a wall of clears and browns, with the exception of one red. They called it "Russian firewater". I ordered up a shot. Looked more like 3 in a juice glass. After a couple more, I found myself wandering the streets with glass shards in my right knuckles. They had little gridlines like the inside of a headlight. Pink and I stayed away from the native booze the remainder of that TDY... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schatten Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 LOL! Yeah Whizzers I think I was about 19 at the time so going on 15 years now I'm down to the "once a year tequilla" shot. I'm actually amazed all I did was pass out and not got into some sort of alcohol induced shock, but then again I come from a long line of Scots, Swedes and Italians so I never had a problem holding my liquor...well I can hold more than your average bear at least before it becomes an "ejectory event" as my friends call it. Spec, I grew up on grappa, literally. My grandpa used to dip a finger in it and have me gum it off when I was teething. That's what happens when both grandparents on one side of the family were born in Italy I guess. That stuff can sneak up on you though...well if a freightrain going about 120 can be said to sneak up on anything. My one roomate in college went to the bar with me one time and saw grappa on the shelf, he was like,"Hey what's that?" "Kinda like Italian brandy, with a kick." I said. He goes,"Brandy? That's a sissy drink, there's no way it has a kick..." Yeah he wound up attempting to start a barroom brawl that night and we had to fireman carry his passed out ass home. He never called it a sissy drink again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted January 29, 2006 Report Share Posted January 29, 2006 Ahhhh, tequila. I used to drink tequila all the time. I preferred Jose Quervo Gold, always kept shot glasses and the bottle in the freezer. Yeah, that was my preferred serving method, frozen glasses and ice cold. Really felt good on a hot day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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