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Joke Thread (31 JANUARY) 2006


Donster
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Paddy from the Falls goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a prostitute. He asks her, "How much do you charge for the hour?" "£100," she replies. So he asks, "Okay do you do West Belfast style?"

She says "No!"

He then asks her, "I'll pay you £200 to do it West Belfast style?"

She again says no, not knowing what West Belfast style was! So he then offers her £300. Again she declines his offer.

So finally he says, "I'll give you £500 to go West Belfast style with me!" Finally she agrees thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over 10 years now, I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdo's from every corner of the world. How bad could West Belfast style be?"

So she goes ahead and has sex with him, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position.

Finally, after several intense hours they finish.

Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "That was fantastic. I've never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the 'West Belfast style' come in?"

Paddy replies . . . "I'll pay you next week."

:D

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Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.

Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.

"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."

Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, ..."Tacks evasion."

:P

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French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP),

Paris, January 31, 2006

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney.

The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

:D

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Splitten Farwood

-----

"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house.

They search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil's house.

"Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they split yer farwood?"

"Yep!"

"Happy Birthday, buddy "

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