Donster Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address "It is an ironic juxtaposition--one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Just to keep Mane Raptor happy... Have you heard about the five young bulls that were standing in the pasture discussing what they wanted to be when they grew up? The first said he wanted to go to Rome and become a papal bull. The second said he wanted to go to New York and become a bull on Wall Street. The third wanted to go to the Windy City to become a Chicago Bull. The fourth said he wanted to go to Beijing and be a bull in a China shop. The fifth said he was just going to stay in the pasture for heifer and heifer and heifer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canuck Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 A Nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the Nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK", but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the Nun. So, the bartender showed the Nun to the back of the restaurant, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, "Sir", I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?" "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled Nun. "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted February 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 @ Canuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mane_raptor Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Just to keep Mane Raptor happy... Hey, DH....... Take off that over-sized butt plug covering your swollen head and LISTEN: I'm NOT the one with the animal fixation...GOT THAT! You've been on that farking spaceship toooooooooo long. Jeesh!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edwin Rommel Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 You dont haf animal fixazion Her MR?? Vhy you shoven your doorbell up ein deer'z arsch zhen??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 You dont haf animal fixazion Her MR?? Vhy you shoven your doorbell up ein deer'z arsch zhen??? Ja! I mean yeah! And he is always shooting them too. And he says I have a fixation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 I'm fixated on the babe posts. Does that count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mane_raptor Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Herr FieldMouse and DH: 1) I don't have a doorbell shoved up a deer's ass. It was carefully placed there so as to not crimp the wires. 2) As a member of PETA (People for the Enjoyment of Tasty Animals), the only fixation I have for animals is if they should be boiled, baked or fried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Let's not forget grilled and barbequed!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Just to keep Mane Raptor happy... Have you heard about the five young bulls that were standing in the pasture discussing what they wanted to be when they grew up? The first said he wanted to go to Rome and become a papal bull. The second said he wanted to go to New York and become a bull on Wall Street. The third wanted to go to the Windy City to become a Chicago Bull. The fourth said he wanted to go to Beijing and be a bull in a China shop. The fifth said he was just going to stay in the pasture for heifer and heifer and heifer. Hate to do it,but........................................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mane_raptor Posted February 3, 2006 Report Share Posted February 3, 2006 Let's not forget grilled and barbequed!!! Oh, right.........good catch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted February 4, 2006 Report Share Posted February 4, 2006 Subject: Urinal too high... A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go w ith the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one holding onto their "wee wees" to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade." No, ma'am, " he replied. "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the seventh." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted February 4, 2006 Report Share Posted February 4, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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