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Jokes (6 FEBRUARY) 2006

Dark Helmet

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The astronauts in the Sea of Tranquility were amazed to discover that the moon actually did contain large underground deposits of cheese. Once outside the LEM, they climbed into the LTV and drove across the lunar surface to obtain samples.

In one location they discovered a large deposit of brie and collected 25 pounds to bring back to earth. They drove to a second location and collected 50 pounds of camembert. In a third location they hit a vein of cheddar and collected another 50 pounds of samples.

Mission Control crackled through their headsets that it would not be satisfied unless they brought back at least another 25 pounds of brie. The astronauts turned their LTV around and proceeded to the first location where they collected another 25 pounds of the cheese.

The astronauts were almost back to the LEM when Mission Control radioed that it wanted another 25 pounds of brie.

Disgruntled, one of the astronauts sarcastically snapped into his microphone, "Have you ever seen such a site in all your life as brie mined thrice?"


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One night recently, my phone rang several times throughout the evening. Each time, a woman's voice asked for Ben. Each time I politely explained that I lived alone, my name wasn't Ben, and she had a wrong number. The fifth time she called, I had had enough.

"Hello"? I said.

"Can I speak to Ben, please"?

I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message"?

"Do you know what time he'll be back"? she responded.

"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."

Silence on the other end...a confused silence.

"Is this Steve"?

"Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben"?

"Well, he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice.

I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago and said that he would be back at 10:00."

A shocked voice now, "Who's Karen"?

"The girl he went out with."

"I know that! I mean...who is she"?

"I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben"?

"Yes. Please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home."

She was sounding pretty irate at this point. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer"?

She exploded, "Who's Jennifer"? Apparently she wasn't.

"Well, he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry, it was an honest mistake."

"Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and that she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home."

I smiled and said, "Okay, I will, but Becky isn't going to like this..."


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Donnie,that's hilarious! Did you think this up all by your little self,or did you have help? I want to hear more about Ben's adventures. Good one,buddy. :beer:

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