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Joke Thread (07 FEBRUARY) 2006


Donster
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A nursing home resident, suffering from dementia, decided to shed all of her clothes and "streak."

She passed two male residents sitting in their wheel chairs in the hallway.

The first male asked the second, "Who was that?"

Second: "I THINK it was 'Miss Rita.'"

First: "Well, what was that she had on?"

Second: "I don't know, but it sure needed ironing."

:D

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An English major was being released from prison. The nice looking female clerk was about to give him the $100.00 they give to all released prisoners. Since the inmate had not had female attention for a long time, he suggested that she could keep the money if she would have sex with him. He was immediately rearrested and thrown back into jail. Everybody knows you should never end a sentence with a proposition.

:P

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Love your Enemies.......A lesson for us all...

Little Thelma comes home from first grade and tells her father that

> they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. And, "Since

> Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks,

> "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?

> Thelma's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would

> get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

> "Osama Bin Laden," she says.

> "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock?

> "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl

> could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to

> think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a

> little bit.

> And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to

> Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over

> the place tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate

> anyone anymore."

> Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound

> pride. "Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

> "I know," Thelma says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the

> Marines could blow the Hell out of him." :rofl:

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