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Jokes (8 FEBRUARY) 2006


Dark Helmet
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Blonde Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Blond Caller: "On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning."

"Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

:D

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A newlywed couple was spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains of Scotland.

They had registered on Saturday, and they had not been seen for five days.

An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were alright.

He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were okay.

"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love," came the reply.

The old man responded, "I thought so. Would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking my ducks!"

:rofl:

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Baptism.

Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming with plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our friends."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

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