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Joke Thread (22 FEBRUARY) 2006


Donster
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If you love salmon the way I do, raw (Sushi), lox (smoked), poached, grilled, barbecued, in salads, then you might be interested in how salmon spawn.

As you may know, they swim upstream. In fact, before they became threatened as a species, one could go salmon fishing during the salmon runs. My dad used to do that every year and we were the happy beneficiaries of the ease with which he could catch them.

Well, that vulnerability turned out to be an error in calculation on the part of the salmon. You see, once upon a time, salmon used to only swim upstream during night hours. At night, they could not be seen as well. However, one particularly observant salmon noticed that most creatures, including the fishes' greatest enemies, fisher birds, slept at night and hunted during the day.

So, the Salmon Council was drawn together and this particularly observant fish presented his observations. It was decided, on the basis of this very persuasive argument, to call a vote to decide whether the salmon should rest during the day, as they always had, or rest at night. You can guess what happened. When the presiding fish asked, "When should we rest?"

Salmon chanted, "evening."

:P

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> A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held

> back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had

> never even seen her naked.

>

> One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow

> driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a

> game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I"ll

> remove one piece of clothing.

>

> He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.

>

> He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.

>

> At 60 off came the pants.

>

> At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.

>

> Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he

> ever

> had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car.

>

> He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree.

>

> His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free

> but alas he was stuck.

>

> "Go to the road and get help," he said.

>

> "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied.

>

> The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.

>

> "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.

>

> So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a

> truck

> driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled

> over to hear her story.

>

> "My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him

> out!"

>

> The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies,

> "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"

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