Whizkid Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Water vs Alcohol It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia Coli Bacteria found in water that contains feces. In other words, we are consuming one kilo of pure crap. However, we do not run that risk when drinking rum, gin, whiskey, beer, WINE, or other liquors because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermentation! Thus, it is my duty to communicate to all you who are drinking water, to stop doing it. It has been scientifically proven that it is unhealthy. THEREFORE - It is better to drink alcohol and talk a bunch of crap than to drink water and be full of it !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Red wine is now my favorite, although I miss my beer. And my scotch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 LOL @ Whiz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello"? "Mrs. Walker, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Walker, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Walker arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Walker asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's." "That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Walker. "Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" asked Mrs. Walker. "The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canuck Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Western humor Three mice are sitting in a bar after a funeral of an Ontario mouse that was killed by an old lady with a broom. Trying to impress each other with how tough they are, the Manitoba mouse throws down a shot of Bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the Alberta mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and the make off with the cheese." The Alberta mouse orders up two shots of Tequila, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the Manitoba mouse and replies, "Oh, yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The Manitoba and Alberta mouse then turn to the Saskatchewan mouse. The Saskatchewan mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the two other mice, "I don't have time for this bullsh*t. I've gotta go home and f**k the cat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Western humor Three mice are sitting in a bar after a funeral of an Ontario mouse that was killed by an old lady with a broom. Trying to impress each other with how tough they are, the Manitoba mouse throws down a shot of Bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the Alberta mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and the make off with the cheese." The Alberta mouse orders up two shots of Tequila, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the Manitoba mouse and replies, "Oh, yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The Manitoba and Alberta mouse then turn to the Saskatchewan mouse. The Saskatchewan mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the two other mice, "I don't have time for this bullsh*t. I've gotta go home and f**k the cat." LMAO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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