Donster Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a "little" stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate was sober, showed him the following entry in the ship's log: "The first mate was drunk today." "Captain please don't let that stay in the log", the mate said. "This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself." "Is it true?" asked the captain, already knowing the answer. "Yes, its true" the mate said. "Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That's the rule. If its true it goes into the log, end of discussion" said the captain sternly. Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entries. The first mate wrote: "The ship seems in good shape. The captain was sober today." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted April 20, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 During a terrible snowstorm, all the highway signs were covered with snow. The following spring, the state decided to raise all signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars. "That's an outrageous price !" said a local farmer, "but I guess we're lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government." "Why's that?" "Because knowing the way the federal government thinks, they'd decide to lower all the highways." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunny Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 LMAO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 Second one is too close to the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 If a farmer plants a field of vibrators, What will be his biggest problem? Squatters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 And along a similar line, I posted a joke in the Loose forum. Thread titled "A bit of a dirty joke". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizkid Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 If a farmer plants a field of vibrators, What will be his biggest problem? Squatters. Aw,hell,someone left the door open again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 Aw,hell,someone left the door open again! More like someone left the sewer trap open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 You know what, I think I'll collect all of DH's jokes and store 'em someplace, for use against people I don't like. Now that's an idea!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 You know what, I think I'll collect all of DH's jokes and store 'em someplace, for use against people I don't like. Now that's an idea!!! Nope, that would surely violate some U.N. rules regarding weapons of mass destruction, not to mention the threat of using his jokes is a human rights violation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 You know what, I think I'll collect all of DH's jokes and store 'em someplace, for use against people I don't like. Now that's an idea!!! Nope, that would surely violate some U.N. rules regarding weapons of mass destruction, not to mention the threat of using his jokes is a human rights violation. Naw...just consider them just like they are illegal aliens in the US. They have more rights than the typical US citizen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cartoon Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 Naw...just consider them just like they are illegal aliens in the US. They have more rights than the typical US citizen. But would you consider many illegal aliens to be squatters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stans Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 But would you consider many illegal aliens to be squatters? Well, if you find them in the vibrator field, then most likely yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donster Posted April 20, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 Well, if you find them in the vibrator field, then most likely yes. Or buyin' more batteries at Wally World. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts