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Joke Thread (30 MAY 06)


Donster

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The Joys of Customer Service...

After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance.

Technician: "Hello. How can I help you today"?

Customer: "There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer."

Tech: "Sounds like you need a new power supply."

Customer: "No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files."

Tech: "Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it."

Customer: "No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command."

For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded.

Tech: "I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem."

Customer: "I knew it!"

Tech: "Just add the line "LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes."

About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer.

Customer: "It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking!"

Tech: "Well, what version of DOS are you using"?

Customer: "MS-DOS 6.22."

Tech: "Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out."

When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again.

Customer: "I need a new power supply."

Tech: "Really? How did you come to that conclusion"?

Customer: "Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you had said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply."

Tech: "What did he tell you"?

Customer: "He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE."

:D

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Stans checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.

He grabbed a card on his way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over with all the curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her ass. You know the kind. So Stans is in his room and figures, what the hell, he'll give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."

:D

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The Adventures of Canuck! Join us now for another chapter in Canuck's never ending quest for truth, justice and a little bit of puddy...

Todays episode: Getting into Shape...

jxu8te1148362630.jpg

:D

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The Adventures of Canuck! Join us now for another chapter in Canuck's never ending quest for truth, justice and a little bit of puddy...

Todays episode: Getting into Shape...

jxu8te1148362630.jpg

:D

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: What's jacking off?

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Nosmoke, LMAO!

Black Brain Bucket, you still suck.

Gimme an axe,gimme an axe,PLEASE!

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I do hope Whizzer was joking... :blink:

Well,now,Donnie,we'll just have to wonder about that,won't we,you wanker!

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