Just in case you haven't seen this!

[Whizkid]

REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's poor taste to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's

considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

*** DINING OUT ***

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with

your fingers covering the Label.

2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor

in case tje restaurant may not have dogs.

*** ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME ***

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be

anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow your dog to eat of the food bowls at the table

no matter how much you love him.

*** PERSONAL HYGIENE ***

1. Only clean your ears when you're alone and only use your OWN truck keys.

2. Deodorants and perfumes can put off the need to take a bath by a month or more.

3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as

they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of

finger foods.

*** DATING (Outside the Family) ***

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook on the first date.

2. Be romantic. Say something thoughtful, like "I've been

wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on

the bathroom wall two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.

Some will say! 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If

the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get

her to school on time.

4. Always have a positive comment about your date's

appearance, such as, "ya sure don't sweat much for a fat girl."

*** WEDDINGS ***

1. Crippled or sick livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 30 seconds may get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit and a clean

bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and

shoes for this special occasion.

*** DRIVING ETIQUETTE ***

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles;

even if your gun is loaded.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle

with the largest tires always has the right of way.

3. Do not tow a car using panty hose or duct

tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas

can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle,

especially when driving.

6. Do not honk your horn or shout profanities while traveling in a funeral

procession.

*** WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER ***

1. All the DNA is the same.

2. There are no dental records.

[Stans]

[Donster]

LOL!